Across Sanviria: Desires

28. We can move forward

Elian's Journal

After the events of the soldier's murder, everything changed. No one in Petriusa was the same. From simple, hard-working, and struggling-to-survive folk, the people became conspirators. The topics of the night talks at the tavern changed from harmless, tension-relieving jokes to plotting the downfall of the Oligarchs. They still worked and gathered supplies to be taken by the soldiers. However, they started systematically collecting small amounts of everything and hiding it.

After two weeks, I realized they no longer needed me. I spoke about it with Aileas one evening during dinner.

'I think we should leave Petriusa,' I said.

'And go to Tuliatus? Isn't it too early?'

'It is. But there are other towns. You told me once that in Emykanas, they see me as a messiah, savior, and stuff. Why don't we go there?'

She smiled, pleased with my words. I could tell she was waiting for the day I proposed something like that.

'Does that mean you've finally come to terms with the fact that you're leading a revolution?' she asked.

I didn't answer. The vision of what was to come, if I really started an all-out uprising, was terrifying. On the other hand, that was my goal from the day I arrived at Lasticus. But I never imagined the final effect before.

'Elian, do you still blame yourself for that soldier?'

'Lucius is right. He died for no reason.'

'Of course, there was a reason. If he hadn't died, we would have been stuck in place. Thanks to his sacrifice, we can move forward. I know it would be better if we could just get rid of the Oligarchs and spare all the others. But it's impossible.'

She reached across the table and touched my hand.

'I know. You don't have to worry,' I said. 'I started all of this, and I intend to finish it. I promised them freedom, remember?'

I still didn't quite believe my own words. If it weren't for Aileas, I would probably give up. The remorse I felt after that one soldier was overwhelming even after many days. The thought of how I will feel when more people die scared me to death. But she gave me strength and confidence.

Three days later, we were ready to go. I also convinced Lucius to join our efforts and go to the town in the south, Chabaculiae, and lay the ground for the revolution there. Silas and two others were going to join him. If everything would go smoothly, we were supposed to meet in the forest west of Tuliatus in six months.

When I left my house for the last time, I felt a sudden wave of sadness. I never considered it home, but I became attached to this place. Not as much to the house as to the people. Thinking about it made me remember Mingaso. Would I ever see its shores again? Did I really want to? The answer probably depended on whether the revolution succeeded. Because if we won, I knew Aileas and I could make this island a wonderful place to live.