Supernova

Chapter Four | Blowing out eardrums and ER teachings

Patty raises her eyebrows at me as she shakes Xavier's hand. I'm never going to hear the end of her. I know what she's doing. She thinks I'm lonely and need someone around. She thinks that since I have no sort of partner, I'll end up adopting two more cats on top of Capri and become an old cat lady and die alone. She also thinks I'm too uptight because I don't have sex. Which makes me want to strangle her because it's not her business. She could be right though. It's been a long long time for a number of reasons. At this point, maybe I'm depriving myself.

"I'm Patty. Apologies for this one being a rude stubborn pain in the ass. I certainly did not teach her that," she comments with a wide grin which just causes me to roll my eyes at her commentary.

Xavier laughs at her statement which irritates me. "Are you her mom?"

My heart drops to my stomach and I swallow the lump in my throat. I feel my head get light and heavy at the same time and it makes me want to crawl into my bed and never come out. I don't even know what to say. The obvious answer is to say no, and that wouldn't even presume any questions but for some reason that feels so difficult to me. I don't make eye contact with Xavier. I don't say a word. I wait for Patty to speak. I wait and believe that I'm a supernova.

Patty clears her throat. I'm assuming she plastered on a smile to ease the tension. "Oh no, dear. There's no way I could raise this hooligan. Think of me as her mentor. A loose term though. I'm too generous to be considered a mentor"

Count on Patty to always ease the tension.

"I see," Xavier responds and I can practically feel his eyes burning into the side of my head.

My heart rate calms down and I take a deep breath. No more burning.

"Well, Mr. Gonzales, me and my little Star here better get going. She's gotta take me to run my errands before she disappears into her work," Patty rambles as she gathers her purse over her shoulder.

"Of course," Xavier says with a smile. "I will see you around, Sterling."

I scoff. "Don't count on it."

Patty smacks me across the head with her newspaper and I glare at her. "Your attitude is ridiculous."

"I was born with an attitude," I mutter and pull my coat around me tightly as the brisk city air hits my skin.

"As if that isn't obvious," Patty chuckles. "That's the boy?"

I groan. "Yes, Patty."

"You failed to mention he's handsome."

I shrug as we cross the street. "It didn't seem important. Plus, if I mentioned that, you would be relentless about me going on a date with him or something dumb."

Patty laughs and her breath forms clouds of smoke that die off as quickly as they formed. "Maybe because you need a date. He was clearly interested in you. You're a beautiful girl."

I roll my eyes. "Patty he's bothersome. I have no interest in him."

"You know he's handsome," she nudges me.

"That can't make up for everything."

"It sure as hell helps!"

It might help a little, but he's Xavier and I'm me. I'm not going on a date. Especially not with him.

——

Working in an ER has taught me three things.

Number one, you hardly get any break, any rest, any anything ever. You are constantly on the go, constantly doing something and never stopping what you're doing. You have to be quick on your feet. You get a break when your shift ends. That's what my instructor told me in my second year of nursing school. One of the girls was astonished by the fact that she could have a 30 hour shift if she worked in a hospital. The instructor laughed in our faces and said, "your break begins when your shift ends". Whenever that may be because you cannot guarantee you'll be out when the schedule says you're out. A lot of that is our own doing. The compassion we have for patients and people who come into the ER, their families, is hard to let go of. You want to be the one to care for them and discharge or admit them. You form a connection in the short amount of time they are in your care.