The Nechi's Wife

✣ chapter thirty-two ✣

yes, i have been trying to write this story for like 5 years. no, I don't know why it's taking so long lol. here's another update in case a single person is still reading this story!

...

It had been five months since I'd last seen Flynd.

Five months since I'd held his hand and felt the warmth of his palms on mine. Five months since I'd finally found peace in Arania.

I was generally happy in Meret. I missed Mam and Baba. Mam's boisterous laughter and Baba's gentle smile. It was so nice to be with them, to feel completely safe, to remember what it felt like to truly belong somewhere. I missed the food, and the sun. I missed walking barefoot and wearing fabric that didn't weigh down my entire body.

But even more than that, I missed Flynd. And often thought I was willing to lose this—lose my beautiful Meret—if it meant I could see him again.

I spent most nights wide awake, heart aching, and tonight was no different. Even the cool evening winds rushing into my room didn't soothe me. Some nights were worse than others; I dreaded those nights. When the ache was so sharp, I couldn't do anything but wail. When I let myself remember his embrace and smile. When I lingered on memories for a bit too long.

But tonight, the ache was dull, peripheral. As I lay awake, unsure how to fall asleep, I absentmindedly touched my belly. It had grown a lot bigger since I'd returned home. At first, I'd thought I'd been gaining weight from the hearty Meretian meals. Mam was relieved, apparently, I'd looked quite gaunt upon returning. When I told her about Aranian food, she hugged me, as if I'd told her I had gone to war.

But it was beginning to swell beyond that point now, the bump now becoming visible through my clothing. I didn't know what to think; if it was true—what would it mean?

And then something poked my insides.

I almost thought I'd imagined it. I touched my stomach again, holding my breath, waiting in complete silence. And then it happened again, a kick. A little kick. Meretian food didn't kick.

Tears burned my eyelids, the moment turning quickly from astonishing to devastating. I wasn't supposed to experience this alone. Flynd was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be excited and nervous and scared along with me. He was supposed to feel the kick and laugh in surprise. We were supposed to be experiencing this together.

...

At dinner, we all sat around the food bowl, eating quietly. Mam had had a stressful day and Baba had listened to Mam complain about her stressful day. It didn't feel like the right time to tell them, but I knew it never would.

"I'm pregnant," I said.

Mam slowly looked up from her food, terror and curiosity swirling in her eyes. Her lips parted but nothing came out. Baba stared at me in silence, confused.

"I'm pregnant," I said again. "I felt the baby kick last night. And haven't you noticed how swollen my belly has gotten?" Mam groaned, a guttural, agonized noise as pained as the howl of a trapped animal. Her eyes welled with tears, but she still didn't speak. Maybe thinking if she didn't talk, then it couldn't be true.

"Aren't you...happy?" I whispered. I didn't even know if I was happy.

Baba wiped his hands on his cloth and pulled me into an embrace. "I need to go back now," I whimpered into his shoulder, struggling to keep my voice even. This baby meant we truly were forever tied to Arania. Their worst fear. Every day, I could see the regret in their eyes. They had sent me away and I could have died, I knew they'd never forgive themselves.