By Your Side/ WooSan🖤🧡

... And This Was Today

With each door opened
Another one closed
With every tear fallen
Another heart broken

San pov:

"For once, stop talking." I sounded mad, maybe a little aggressive but it hurts me knowing that he thought that low of himself. That he couldn't see how special and perfect he was: "you are going to listen to me".

No words left to say, he stayed quiet.

He looked anxious but this was my only chance to grab every bit of anxiety in him and replace it with some ease.

"You are right. Yeosang is pretty, cute, small... whatever you just said." I paused, observing his face. A tear started to formulate on the corner of his eye. I softly smiled: "But you are also very very wrong" I affirmed "In my eyes... I repeat, in MY eyes, you the prettiest, the cutest and the most perfect. To me, you are everything. My everything. And Jong Wooyoung is my only angel. No one else can have this title. Do you even know why I chose to call you angel?" I asked, looking at him.

He shook his head while looking at the floor. He felt shy and it was obvious since his ears turned a bright shade red.

"Look up!" with no answer, I pulled his chin up to face me "because Jong Wooyoung you are my light. My home. My world. My existence. My safe place and trust me... no one can take this place. This title. And..." my face approached his, kissing him softly "and I love you beyond this world. I love you now and forever."

Silence.
Tremble.
No words.
He just let his emotions free.
He cried.

"Angel, baby..." I hugged him tightly, kissing every place I could, from his cheeks to his head to his teary eyes, to his nose... I just kept on kissing him. "don't cry" I whispered.

"I know... no I mean I believe you but it just hard for me to believe in myself. I feel like everything happening to me is just not real. I am scared that this might end soon, and I know..."

"I love you"

I love all of your fears
That makes you feel weak
Because they are yours.

"I know San... but what I mean is that..."

"I love you" I repeated, interrupted him.

I love your shaky voice
Calling out my name
Because it is yours.

"San, listen to me... I said I know. I just feel I am not..."

"I love you, Wooyoung" I stopped him, connecting our trembling lips, locking them together. "Shut up. Feel, think and act however you want but that won't change how I feel about you."

Jong Wooyoung, I love all of you
From your dreams to your darkest nightmares.
I love you.

"I love you" I said one last time. My eyes looking into his. He finally heard me.

"I love you too" he answered with a sob.

He placed his arms around my neck, closing the gap between us, kissing each other once again.

"Don't leave... stay with me tonight" he whispered as our lips detached.

"But Yeosang and I were discussing about the live..." the second I said 'Yeosang' name, he aggressively smashed back his lips onto mine shutting me up. He felt jealous and it made me kid of happy having him be this assertive.

"No... please don't leave me..." he sounded more desperate with every muffled moan he let out

and within seconds, his hands traveled down my body, reaching my pants. Still kissing me, he started rubbing his body on mine, making it impossible to move away. It felt goof but "Woo... wait..." I let out.

I knew what was happening. I knew what he was doing but I couldn't risk it.

For the past year, Wooyoung has been trying to initiate it... sex I mean. But I would chicken out the second it got too serious.

We did jerk off from time to time but never went all the way.

I had my reasons and still do...
I can't... I just can't and no one could ever know why.
He would regret everything. He would regret loving me.

Slowly freeing myself I whispered while breathing heavily "Angel... I promise it is just work." Trying to change the conversation, I stopped, looking at his face. He signed and moved away. I knew he was pissed.

"Come sit with me while I work." I suggested, trying to make the situation any better. But he wasn't looking at my face anymore. I couldn't blame him. If I was in his place, I would have broken up with myself. Like not easy to understand.

But...

He stayed and brushed it off.

Waited while being patient with me, even if I was not telling him why... he listened to the silence of my voice and ... stayed.

It scared me.

He signed again: "It's okay... I will wait for you here" he was angry with those final words he let out, I held him in my arms, carrying him on my shoulder back to Yeosang room. He kept on wiggling out of my arms like a fish out of the water, but I didn't let go. "SAN! LET ME DOWN!" He yelled.

"That's not going to happen... baby. So just stay still" I said, giving him a soft slap on his ass.

"SAN PLEASE!" he whined.

"Can't do baby... I need you." I smirked. He signed as we reached Yeosang's bedroom which was still open from before. "We are back... sorry for the wait" I informed Yeosang, that was looking at us all confused by what was happening right in front of his eyes.

I threw Wooyoung on the bed like a sack of paotato, next to where Yeosang was sitting.

"No worries" he said as he gave us a 'concerned' look on the whole 'how Wooyoung ended up on his bed after flying out my arms' situation.

But it didn't matter because he was with me for now, cuddled in my arms, feeling each other warmth.

But for how long
Will this last.

———————————————————————————
Sorry for the long break but I needed. To make it better I made this chapter a bit longer but the end ... sorry!
ANYWAY, I am so far loving writing every chapter! I hope you liked it!
If you have any recommendations please feel free to suggest them to me! I'll take it into consideration!
Anyway please remember that this story will contain some heavy triggering stuff so please be advised to take care of yourself first!
Thank you for your support! 🖤