By Your Side/ WooSan🖤🧡

Cry For Help

I'll embrace all your demons
Even if they don't like me
Even if you don't like me
I'll hold you closer than ever.

San pov:

We arrived at our dorms in a rush, as if we were running away from something. Well, more like Wooyoung was running away from something... someone... me.

The closer I got to him, the further he fled. It was as if we were playing a game of cat and mouse. I kept calling for him, in all the names I have made up for him. Nothing worked as if he was within thick walls. My worries got worst with every step we took.

Was he mad at me? Did I do something? I wondered, feeling my blood boil in my body.

"Woo, just talk to me?!" I yelled as he opened the door.

Nothing once again. I was used to it by now, but my frustration wasn't building higher with every sentence that came out from my mouth.

I rushed closer to him, trying one last time to grab his arm... trying to stop him but he flinched, pushing me away aggressively. He was desperate to be alone... alone without me.

I hate it every second of it
It made even more desperate
More scared
I was terrified.

"Wooyoung! That's enough!" I finally let out, loud and clear. The younger froze in the middle of the dining room.

I signed, feeling angry at myself for the way I screamed but nothing was working at this point.

I rushed behind him, hugging tightly feeling as if he was about to disappear.

"Look at me!" I demanded not letting go of my firm and high tonality that I adapted to.

"No..." he whispered. That's when I realized he was shaking. Every inch of his body was vibrating, and I was getting impatient but mostly anxious.

"Please look at me..." I repeated but this time much softer and calmer than before.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid, but I was. I was petrified of what he would say next. Of how he would act.

"San..." he finally let out, quietly, desperately calling out my name. He was crying. "I can't... I don't know why I am like this..."

That is when it hit me that he was suffering and that all he needed was some time to gather up the courage to speak. I was ready to give him all of that, but I wasn't ready to let go. He was going to stay in my arms even if it meant turning into stone, at the entrance of our dorms. Even if it meant forever, I was going to hold him closer than ever until he was ready to talk.

"Like what Woo..." I breathed out those three words before he fell onto the hard wooden ground, sobbing. Nothing I have seen before.

"Why am I like this? Why did it bother me that much? Why can't I just be normal like the rest and understand that it's okay... why am I not okay?" he said, not taking a break between each question.

Even though he was talking to me, it felt like he was talking to himself.

"Why did it hurt this much... as if I was losing you? I..." he stopped, taking a breath before continuing "I hated it! You can't..."

Silence.

"You just can't..."

To people that are reading this you might think he was blaming me but in fact he was talking all the blame on himself... and he was finally asking for help.

It broke me. The person I cared the most for, was on his knees, desperately asking for help and I couldn't do anything.
All I could was go down on my knees, next to him, grabbing his face and wiping his tears away, over and over again...

And I did.
I stayed.

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I am so far loving writing every chapter! I hope you liked it!
If you have any recommendations please feel free to suggest them to me! I'll take it into consideration!
Anyway please remember that this story will contain some heavy triggering stuff so please be advised to take care of yourself first!
Thank you for your support! 🖤🧡