As I am approached by any man I face
I am overtaken by the thought that I may be hurt
Manipulated
Emotionally tormented
Yelled at
Or worse
I know the root of that response
I am aware of where it came from
But I am delusional to the man who put that fear in me
He did nothing wrong
Or so I am told
He just had a temper
I guess
He was just in a bad mood
Okay
I denied it every day
I didn't have trauma because of all of that
And then someone pointed out the sheer amount of flinching I do
Especially when a man I don't know that well approaches me
When a man looks down on me sternly
I lose all pride and confidence
I flinch when people walk or talk behind me
I jump when someone touches me
I get scared to accept any hugs offered to me
I have full panic attacks over these things
I am immediately transported back to those moments that caused all of this
I would not wish it on my worst enemy
YOU ARE READING
What Life Is
PoetryThe poetry journal of a senior in high school. Raw and virtually unfiltered emotions from someone with a lot going on.
