What Life Is

"Hug All Ur Friends"

I am reminded constantly of a song
"Hug all your friends,"
It repeats
Over
And over
And over again
It reminds me of the finality of life
I don't have much time left with the people that I have surrounded myself with
I am getting ready to write a new chapter in my book of life
One that will have as any ups and downs as this one has had
I am scared
Truly
The valleys so far have far outweighed the peaked of my tallest mountains
It hurts
I know that I am going to make it through
I hope that I am going to make it through
But I will be honest
I am not quite sure
My scars seem to be getting deeper
My relapses seem to be happening more often
My tears no longer fall freely
They fall reluctantly in the most inconvenient of places
My fiends are growing and moving apart
I am scared
I don't know what the future holds for me
Maybe it doesn't hold anything for a sad fucker like me
I wouldn't be surprised
And as much as I long for that cold embrace of death
I know that it will not come until my time is truly up
I can only hope that it is soon
I yearn for disappearance
I yearn to leave this place and everything that hurt the child in me
But I know that i can't
I know that is not possible at this point in my life
So for now
I will do what I can
I will hug all y friends
I will make sure that they know how much they mean to me
BecauseI would rather die in a fiery inferno
Than know that any friend or person that I love
Ever felt the way that i do presently
I know I don't have much longer left with them
I know that
And I would advise you to recognize that
"Hug all your friends and let them know you're not letting go"
"You're not letting go"
(Lyrics by Cavetown, the band that keeps me alive)