TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

49

I shrugged, keeping my eyes ahead on the road. "I just want to make sure. I don't want to make you feel like you just got coaxed into something you don't fully like. You can be honest with me if you still like having your own space."

"I want this. I can't wait to live with you, okay?" she told me with conviction in her voice.

"You can always back out if you change your mind—"

She cut me off, her tone firmer, "I won't."

"Just letting you know that you have a way out. I won't be upset."

"I don't like how you word things sometimes."

"I'm sorry," I gave her a quick glance, her eyes gentle and glinting in the daylight, "Just a bit overwhelmed by this, and I'm really excited. This also feels natural at the same time. Weird feelings."

Her smile was reassuring. She eased me into one of our most interesting conversations for the rest of the drive.

Soohyun's name was put on the lease that day although I made it clear that I wasn't going to make her pay half the rent. Even if she insisted, I refused repeatedly. It pretty much finalized our plans of taking the leap and moving in together. I told her that she deserved a much better place than mine, maybe one that was closer to Severance but she said we didn't have to bother about looking for a new area to live in, that she didn't mind driving half an hour to work which actually worried me a lot. I didn't want her making small sacrifices like this especially if it had something to do with her job that she really liked. She was adamant, however, on making me realize that it wasn't such a big change to fuss over. She also asked if she could still keep her apartment in case something urgent came up at work and she couldn't afford a longer commute time—something she didn't need to confide in me with, and it was totally fine. Paying more bills seemed to be one of the last things she cared about, so I didn't prod anymore. The rest—we'd just figure it out.

We'd started packing and moving some of Soohyun's stuff little by little. She didn't miss the plant nook she'd been earnestly looking after and I made a mental note that I had to kick it up a notch by taking it seriously and learn to be an equally good plant parent. Another thing to keep myself busy with, too.

Our shared apartment looked smaller than it had been since she owned more stuff than I did but it seemed more alive, even more lived in, with all the new things in place. We were expecting a few pieces of furniture that we got off online shopping sites to arrive. Soohyun mostly picked the color and designs.

I had my closet half-cleared for Soohyun, made space in the other drawers and corners for her, too. There was her own pair of house slippers, her toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet, her pillows on the bed. Everywhere I turned, there was a reminder that we were together, that Soohyun and I were actually in it. There was another: I was giving my partner a front-row seat to my life, to how I'd been living it. Would she like the way I would hum the same song over and over until I was sick of it? Would some of my little, weird mannerisms that I wouldn't dare doing outside not bother her? Somehow, there was lightness attached to the idea alongside excitement. That was a good sign, right?

My parents were shocked the moment I brought it up, and Soohyun was with me throughout the talk. She'd looked so flustered while she apologized about her absence the night she was supposed to meet them the first time despite how many times I'd told her that it was okay and my parents understood the way things went, but she'd kept worrying until my mother gave her a sweet smile and pulled her into a tight hug, rubbing circles on her back and saying, "Don't have to feel sorry, sweetheart. You're such an angel." While she had her head over my mom's shoulder, we caught each other's eyes.