TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

17

Chapter 17

PARK SOOHYUN

It was another day of Jungkook coming to join me and Taehyung as we shared snacks at the hospital cafeteria, and whenever I looked at the both of them, there was a swelling desire in my chest that was hoping I had a friendship like theirs before.

That was something far out of reach for me since then.

At some point, I had concluded I was the problem. I had heard it said enough that I was insufferable with my non-stop whining and loud updates of my life. My college friends — which included Gyuri and the others — stood me up on my 23rd birthday without responding to any of my messages while I asked them where they were, had they forgotten, or could they still make it? Later they rubbed it in my face thay they could no longer stand me. They gradually got rid of me, painted me as a bad person who apparently seduced my friend's boyfriend (who had liked me for a long time and confessed he only dated Gyuri to get close to me) and I pretended I no longer cared, and at night after a long, long day, I would cry over how I lost them over a petty misunderstanding. I could never ruin a relationship. Back then, I only had my eyes on Jeon Jungkook. Which they were oblivious of.

They had also mentioned how imposing and annoying I always was, that behavior being shown on how I reacted to things I bought, or things that I achieved.

'Look, I found a really nice bag online! And have you seen the clothes I wore on my Instagram post? I think I look really cute in them.'

'Guys, I did great on our lab exam. Can you believe it?'

'I can do that! Let me show you.'

I had been told people would like me only if I wasn't over-excited and arrogant. 'You are too much! Don't you know that? People have a hard time dealing with you.'

Eventually, I got over it and realized I didn't need them, much less a friend.

I found that I'm the best person to listen to myself.

In the middle of our conversation, Taehyung's on-call phone beeped, asking him to tend to a patient. He wasted no time dashed off, leaving me with Jungkook. 

"You've been smiling a lot today," I commented before I took a sip of my coffee. Earlier today, he waved his hand at me as a greeting and even regarded me with polite smiles when we met each other in the hallways. Considering my past experiences, I could tell it was kind of out of character for him to even acknowledge my presence in courtesy.

Jungkook raised his brows, half-smiling. "Is that weird to you?"

"Nope. Not at all."

"I don't have time to mope around. I can't always be sad and crying when we're together. That's going to drain your energy and I find it annoying myself."

"That's... that's nice to hear. But it's okay to give yourself some time to feel sad over the pressure and everything, you know? I do that and it turns out well for me."

Recalling all the years I'd spent noticing every action he displayed in public, the Jungkook I knew established different connections to a lot of people in college, knowing he was an achiever and he did not have to confine himself within his comfort zone because he stood out the most among the batch. Looked up to by the students and adored by the professors, he gave back as much support to those who believed in him and tried to help in every possible way. Smiles were offered to people he ran into everywhere he went and Jungkook usually asked how they were doing in life; something that most probably drew me closer to him on a deep emotional level. But whenever he stayed next to Taehyung, I could say Jungkook was actually a quiet guy who'd rather just sit and enjoy silence with the ones he was comfortable with.