TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

34

Chapter 34

PARK SOOHYUN

Jungkook had been honest about my cooking and I perfectly knew it was nowhere near from being good, but he accepted everything I made nonetheless, making up polite excuses for my shitty skills and experiences and every time he would nonchalantly finish the food that should have been tossed in the trash instead, I wanted to kiss him even more. Which was absurd. When I made the food too salty, he'd shrug it off and tell me he could just chug down an entire bottle of water. I lived under my parents' roof for twenty-nine years and depended on them for almost everything, but now that I wanted to at least impress my boyfriend, all of my refusals against learning kept coming back, my own stubbornness biting my ass.

Whatever. Jungkook made an effort to force himself to like the food, anyway. I tried to get better without telling anyone because I was embarrassed to let them know that I resisted every opportunity to learn when I growing up, watching YouTube tutorials and subscribing to online recipe magazines that cost more than what I had acquired, confusing myself with fancy-sounding and even the simplest ingredients to achieve shitty results and a mess to clean up in the kitchen. It would take time, of course, but I couldn't see any progress with the packed lunches or breakfast I brought for Jungkook, so I decided to just stop making a fool of myself, try again another time, and grab food somewhere else. He didn't deserve potential food poisoning. From then on, Jungkook smiled genuinely a lot more than usual during our meals together that I had to mask my frustration.

Straight out of work, I found Jungkook sitting by himself in the waiting area, his head hanging low with his arms crossed, unbothered by the chaos jostling around him. I didn't miss how he had his eyes screwed shut, taking a nap, almost unaware of his busy surroundings. I fought down a sob as I walked up closer, worried about how he had been working twice as hard lately, because he needed to, he wanted to. Even if he'd tell me he'd tone it down, that he could manage, his perfectionist side would always rise to the surface and refuse any bare minimum effort. Like he was programmed to always do his best in every task he was assigned to, make detailed work. Each time I'd look at him, there was this overwhelming surge of emotions sitting at the bottom of my stomach, pushing the bile up my throat. I knew it wasn't normal to feel them about him all at once, but I realized I liked the guy so excessively that I had to feel than repress or else I'd fall off from where I was. And I was always confident that Jungkook would be there to hold me steady and keep me grounded.

That was the problem. Jungkook was always this composed, level-headed guy on the surface that I was fearing he'd never let me shake him up a little. Sometimes I just never knew what was running through his mind, and I had been friends with him for a while to know that he had never stopped thinking about anything, everything. Asking Jungkook about it felt like walking on eggshells with him. He needed space, privacy. He'd let me in on his thoughts when he was ready, that I kept telling myself.

Patience, a skill I must earn. I had never been that great with being patient, but I was trying. I could remember Taehyung saying, dating Jungkook isn't as easy as it sounds.

"Hi, my beautiful tough guy." I carefully tapped Jungkook's arm and he didn't budge an inch. I lifted my hand up the side of his face and touched him there until his eyes fluttered open like he panicked, narrowing his gaze as he adjusted his sight. "Wow, you've slept?"

"I didn't realize. Must have been ten minutes? Shit, I don't know." His hand quickly grabbed the backpack next to him, relieved to see it sitting there. The crease between his eyebrows smoothed out. "Did I look stupid?"