A Tale in Autumn

CHAPTER 4: EMBRACING REALITY

Autumn's Perspective

Kyxe's words lingered in my mind, echoing the truth. Psydon had urged me to live for him, so why was I confining myself to this sorrowful state? I hadn't attended his wake and burial, too consumed by grief. Unbeknownst to me, others were grappling with their pain – his friends and, most significantly, his family. I had been selfish, oblivious to the collective suffering caused by my actions.

Gathering my strength, I sought solace in the bathroom, attempting to compose myself. Changing into an above-the-knee white dress, I resolved to confront the past before embracing a new beginning. It was time to visit him, to seek forgiveness for my absence during his final moments.

Descending the stairs, I caught Kyxe and Mommy in the midst of a meal. The atmosphere shifted as I, disregarding my usual seat, embraced Mommy. Surprised, she reciprocated, and I found myself on the verge of tears.

"Mommy, I'm sorry," I murmured, emotions welling up. "Sorry for being selfish and immature, sorry for causing you stress. I'm so sorry," I continued, my voice choked with emotion.

"It's okay, Autumn. I'm relieved that you're emerging from this ordeal. I apologize for my frustration; I just want what's best for you," Mommy reassured, tenderly caressing my hair and cheeks.

"I understand, Mom. I see the lengths you're going to ensure our well-being. I love you, baby brother," I expressed, turning to Kyxe and planting a kiss on his cheek. His protest, rejecting the 'baby' moniker, elicited laughter in the room.

"Stop it, Noona, and drop the 'baby.' I'm not a child anymore, and you're only 30 seconds older," he retorted, irritation underlying his words. Laughter continued to fill the room at his response.

"Really? Hahaha, does my handsome 'baby' brother have a girlfriend already?" I teased, prompting a vehement "Noona!" from him. Mommy interjected, emphasizing that Psydon would want me to find happiness and not dwell in pain.

With those words lingering, I bid Mommy farewell, announcing my intention to visit Psydon's parents. Despite Kyxe's offer to accompany me, I chose to undertake this journey alone.

Arriving at Psydon's house, I rang the doorbell, and Dunah, Psydon's younger sister, burst out in excitement.

"Who's that? Oh my gosh!!! Autumn? Is that you?" she exclaimed. Her exuberant welcome culminated in tight hugs and a cacophony of kisses on my cheeks. Her mom, joined us, surprised by my unannounced visit. "Dunah, what happened—" she began but halted upon seeing me. Smiling, I greeted her and apologized for missing the burial and memorial.

"It's okay, hija. I understand. Come inside; let's talk. Are you okay?" she asked. Assuring her of my well-being, I disclosed my intention to visit Psydon's final resting place. The atmosphere shifted as I mentioned his name, and both Dunah and her mom exchanged knowing glances.

"He's at Blue Heaven Memorial Park, Autumn. Would you like us to accompany you?" she offered. Politely declining, I explained I had my car. With a final goodbye to Dunah, I departed.

Before reaching Aunt Allei's specified location, I made a brief stop at a flower shop, acquiring blooms for Psydon. The destination, Blue Heaven Memorial Park, awaited, and upon arrival, I sought guidance from the caretaker.

Directed to Psydon's mausoleum, I walked with a heavy heart. A text from Tita Allei provided the passcode, a poignant reminder of how me and Psydon started – 061313

Entering the mausoleum, the room revealed a blend of white and blue. Memorabilia adorned the space, including a sofa set, a dining table, and, at the center, Psydon's final resting place. Tears welled up at the sight of his photo, taken on my last birthday with him.

"I miss you so much, Psydon," I whispered, gazing at the image. Apologies poured forth for missing the chance to bid him farewell, as grief had clouded my senses.

"I'll strive to be strong, to find happiness as you wished. But Psydon, since you left, a significant part of my life seems lost. The one who brought me joy, who learned dance moves with me, played the guitar, orchestrated surprises for special days – it's all gone. You're not here, Psydon. Where are you? Why did you leave me alone? Didn't we vow 'until the end of infinity'? Where are you now? Why did you leave me?" A chuckle accompanied my words, though tears flowed unabated.

"I love you, Psydon. I hope you've found peace . And don't you dare flirt up there. If I hear any rumors, I'll come up and confront you," I attempted a jest, yet tears persisted. Overwhelmed, I succumbed to the heaviness, allowing sleep to envelop me in hopes of finding solace within the realms of dreams.