Poems Of Broken Heart

Fear of being loved back

Love hurts, doesn't it my dear?
Or is it, loving the wrong way hurts?
Like how I loved you,
But not let you love me back,
How fragile, yet so powerful.
Love got me drunk in your sweet smell,
Jasmine, Lavender and peppermint,
Love got me drowning in your honey brown eyes,
Reflecting the rippling sunlight of dusk.
Your honey kissed skin,
The tousled night black hair,
The cherry coloured lips,
Oh dear , what spell have you cast on me?
Are you a mythical soul,
Who can bewitch mere mortals with their powerful charm?
Oh my dear, you won't know how much it hurts,
To watch you so close to me,
Yet feel so far, out of reach.
How each day I  groan in pain,
How I feel suffocated in this unwillingly unrequited love.
If only I was brave enough,
If only I was brave enough to be loved back,
I would have confessed to you,
I would have let you love me back;
But fear, fear of getting hurt again,
I let my fear of past hurt chain me down,
I let the memory of wounds pull me back,
The past hurt which instilled the fear,
Fear of never being loved back.
Hence I closed the doors on you,
Yet couldn't help but peep through the keyhole,
I was a coward, but must have been a good liar,
How cleverly I masked my pain , or my insecurities.
I failed miserably to heal myself,
I failed miserably to take the chance of letting light inside my dark palace rooms,
I pushed you away, my fault I know.
Oh god, this cycle never stops;
I cut people out,
In excuse of healing my broken soul,
Hurt makes me isolate in hopes of healing,
Yet I get more hurt in despair of loneliness.
Oh love, do you know if you still wait for me ,
I will never be brave enough to let you love me back,
I would love you but not let you love me back,
Dear, will I overcome this fear, this insecurity?
Will I?

-Larkspur Hills