pretty brown eyes (a 3rd part to 'boyfriends ^^' but it's better grammar!!!)

chapter 6: promises

I sit on my bed criss-cross, staring down at my wrists. It's been a little over a day now; it's probably about two, and everything feels really weird because it's all back to how it was. The moonlight outside my room is the only light around me. I can't stop thinking about that day. Even if Noah's back, it's still on my mind.

"Jayden, promise—promise me..you'll always believe—I-I'm right beside you..okay? I-I'll always be..be right beside you."

"no.. no, no, no.."

"Shh, sh.. I love you, Jayden..god damn, it..heh..I finally—got the proof of loving..you I wanted to—to gi-give you."

I stare at my ring, and think of what the note that came with it read.

'i promise i'll never leave you—'

My mind flashes with the blood.

'—and you promised too.'

It was all over me.

"..Are you okay?"

—It was my fault.

"Jayden?"

Why was I so weak?

"My love?" Noah asks, his fingers intertwining with mine tightly. He had to have been sitting there for a few seconds. Now I've probably made him worry. And with worry comes stress and now I feel like shit.
I mutter out, "Sorry."
Noah's eyes flicker down to my wrists, then back to me. He sighs and turns on the lamp on our nightstand. He then sits criss-cross in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes. "What is it?"
I shake my head. "It's nothing."
Noah sighs and looks down at my hands.
  "Talk to me," he whispers.
  "It's nothing, I'm serious."
  Noah nods. He doesn't look like he wants to pry the truth out of me. I love that about him.
As he staress at my hands, he notices the ring and smiles softly. "You found my gift."
"It was the same day you.."
Noah nods, letting me know I don't have to finish. "Do you have mine?"
  "Yeah." I lean over, grabbing the ring off our nightstand, the shining from it reflecting off the lamp disappearing.
He holds his hand out. "Put it on for me. Please."
"Okay." I giggle and hold his hand on top of mine, putting the ring on his ring finger. He holds my hand and kisses the back of it gently, as if I'm some prince. I'm nowhere near a prince. "I promise, I'll never leave you again."
I smile. "I promise I'll never leave you, too."
We stay quiet for a moment, holding hands and sitting there. Don't worry; it's normal people things to sit in silence like this.
Noah finally speaks, "I love you, Jayden."
My eyes light up. I haven't heard that in forever. Well, six months, but it felt like forever. "I love you, too, Noah."
  Noah puts his hand on the side of my face, ever so slightly in my hair. "And I love your hair.." I smile, my cheeks turning pink with blush. Noah smiles back at me, his thumb stroking back and forth on the side of my face. "And your smile.."
  "Okay," I giggle, pushing his hand away. I try to think past the butterflies in my stomach. "Enough. You're being cheesy..."
  Noah shrugs and smiles at me, not speaking; he just looks at me. I both love and hate it when he looks at me with those eyes, like he admires me.
  "What?" I ask. I don't like believing someone would admire me.
  "You're just so cute," Noah whispers. "The cutest boy."
  I giggle, and I'm about to argue with that, but my mind goes to the one thing positive I can tell him. My eyes glance from my hands to his eyes and I hesitate before saying, "I haven't thought of.. hurting myself.. at all today."
  I watch Noah's eyes light up, and I smile. It's not much at all, but he makes it feel like such an accomplishment. "Really?"
  I laugh and nod. Noah holds both my hands again. "I'm so proud of you," he whispers. "You're such a perfect boy, Jayden."
  "What did I say about being cheesy?"
  Noah laughs softly and looks down at my hands, holding them tightly. He turns my hand over to look at my wrists, and sighs quietly. "Aside from not thinking of it today.. have you done it since I asked you to stop? Did you do it yesterday?"
  I hesitate. "...Only once. It was after you went to bed." Noah sighs in response. Why can't I just stop worrying people? "I-I'm sorry," I stutter.
  "No, darling."
  I freeze. "What?"
  "You did nothing wrong, okay? You're trying. That's what's important, got it? Don't say sorry."
  "No. 'Darling'?" I ask. I grin and I raise my eyebrows.
  Noah blushes. "..Did I say that? I am so sorry, it just slipped out."
  I laugh, squeezing both his hands, "Say it again!"
  "No, I'm embarrassed now! It's so cringe!" He pushes my hands away with giggles.
  "Come onn! It was sweet!" Noah shakes his head. His face is flushed red.
  I snicker. "You're like a tomato."
  Noah rolls his eyes, mumbles, "Shut up," and looks away.
  I shake my head and put both my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me. "Pleaaaaaase say it again."
  Noah sighs, "Okay, 'darling'. But don't get used to it. It's embarrassing."
I keep snickering and giggling, and I hold Noah's hand again. His free hand touches the bottom of my hoodie.
"..Can I take this off you?.. Nothing sexual, I promise."
I nod and let Noah take off my hoodie. He puts his hands on my waist, staring at my bandage-wrapped chest. "How long do you have to wear this?"
  "I actually think I can take it off now," I whisper. "The stitches healed."
  Noah smiles and starts unwrapping the bandages. He rolls them into a ball and tosses them at the trash, and it lands. I giggle again. He looks at my chest, a scar going from the middle of my chest down a few inches. Maybe seven, if you're into specifics. I have scars on my chest already from the top surgery I got at 14 because my aunt, my 'guardian,' was super supportive.
  "I love your scars," Noah says. "It reminds me how strong you are."
  "I'm a manly man, then?"
  Noah chuckles. "Definitely." He sits up and gently wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me with his head on my chest. I smile and lean back, my hand in his soft, blonde hair.
"Does it hurt?" Noah asks, looking up at me with his shining brown eyes. I've already said it, but I love his eyes.
  I just try not to think of the repetitive nightmares I had about them.
I shake my head, kissing the top of his head because he's just right there. "Not really."
Noah smiles. "Good."
He kisses my chest and lays his head back down. I yawn and continue to play and mess with his hair.
"I love your hair," I whisper. Noah chuckles.
"And I love you."
"I love you too, Noah."
He sits up, and hugs me, this time pulling me onto his lap. He used to do that a lot, and I loved it. I still do; it's probably my favorite place just because I'm so close to him.
"I missed this," he says as his hands rest on my hips.
"Me too." I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as he leans back, laying down with me in his lap.
"I'm cold," I mumble. He listens and pulls the thick blanket over both of us.
"Can I sleep here?" I ask, my voice quiet.
"Of course. This is your room, you little dummy. I'd never pass on sleeping with you in my arms, either."
I nod and close my eyes. I'm resting my body, but I can't rest my mind. I want to ask Noah if he blames me. I know he doesn't, but it was my fault. It was. Why was I so weak? Why couldn't I fight back? Why did I trust Parker at all? Noah didn't die, like I thought for months, but he still got so, so hurt. And he's.. just acting as if it's all okay. Why?
"Goodnight, my love," Noah whispers, kissing my cheek. Proves my point so much more.