Was I Ever Here? ; jenlisa ff G!P

Prolouge

Lisa pov

Blood.

So much of it. It gurgles deep inside my throat as I rasp in a struggling breath. It seeps into my shirt, sticking sickly to my chest while I lay limp against the wall. I can't tell where the bleeding is coming from against the slow delirium of my body dying. I hear screaming.

Close, yet so far.

Like sounds traveling through water. Where are the voices coming from? Hot breaths yelling close to my face, my ear, my cheek. Harried hands cupping my blood into their palms, holding it like a chalice to my body, believing it could somehow protect me from slipping away.

The hands. Are they mine? No. Mine are laying limply on either side of me, a distant weight, feeling barely attached to my body. But they're there. Must be someone else's then. But I can't tell who.

Nor does it matter.

Not when I can hardly make out my own existence from the person trying to cradle me into their arms. Or are they laying me down? I cough, choking on the blood trickling into the back of my throat. My lips part on a breath. Am I trying to speak? My eyes are heavy-lidded, unfocused. With every slow dragging blink I take, the darkness calls to me. Maybe I should just keep them closed. I can't remember why I'm even fighting this.

Or am I even trying?

My body shakes as if someone is trying to wake me up. But I'm not sleeping—don't they get that? The voice screams a name—my name—but I'm in far too deep now. The sound barely travels to the depth where I've sunk. Visions—or memories, I can't tell—dance behind my eyelids but I can't discern what I'm seeing.

There's another voice here...drifting through my consciousness, I can hear them cry, hear them scream. "Don't do this to me. Don't leave me here. You promised. You fucking promised me..." the voice pleads. My confusion muddles my senses even further when I realize it's happening inside my head, like a faint echo.

But my focus is waning, drifting and straining on yet another sensation.

Of being pulled out of my body.

Disembodied.

Is this how it feels to die? I slip further into the distance. Such a strange feeling, like sinking and being lifted up simultaneously. Floating. Up and up and up. I can no longer fight the current. I'm too tired anyway. Finally, I take one last tender breath and let go. I let go of the tether keeping me tied to my wasting body as the void envelops me.

At long last.

"Don't touch me!" Irene seethed through clenched teeth.

The black curls of her hair fell over her shoulders as she stood up from the table, nearly knocking the whole thing over, garnering curious looks from the patrons around us.

"Irene, sit back down. You're making a scene," I replied, my stern tone having no effect on her dramatic outburst.

To any onlooker we were merely business partners having a spat. And that was exactly why she resented me. We had met during the gold rush down in Sacramento Valley and a friendship had bloomed easily between us.

But now...we were so much more than just partners.

She was my best kept secret. And I was hers.

Although she wished I was not.

Irene's love for me was all encompassing. So bright. Although, like the sun, I couldn't bear to look straight into the light from fear of going blind.