𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 | 𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐎𝐂

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐑

i've never written this much in my life, damn.

I was sitting down on my sleeping bag, smoking a cigarette as Mary Beth read to me.

"...and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them." Mary Beth finished reading and closed the book. She smiled holding it up to her chest. "Wasn't that something?"

"Yeah, it was something, alright." I inhaled smoke. "So that's it? They end up together?"

"Well, what did you expect?" Mary-Beth asked and I shrugged. "I don't know. Don't you have anything more tragic?"

"Well, I don't know the ending to these books. Besides, don't we witness enough tragedy in real life?" Mary Beth stood up. "I have to go tell Tilly about this."

She left.

I saw Sadie approach me with a smile on her face. She was actually smiling. I was happy she was feeling better. "Hey." Sadie came up to me. I smiled. "Hey, Sadie."

She sat down next to me. It was strange. Last month, she wouldn't say a word to me. Now, here she was, voluntarily sitting next to me.

"You know, I realized" She started. "i've been going on and on about Jake, but I never asked you if you had a special someone."

"I did." I put out the cigarette.

"Well?" She scoffed. "That it?"

"Okay, i'll tell you." I laughed. "Her name was Margaret. She was so mature. She was three years older than me. I was nineteen. She had a man, though."

"Oh." Sadie said and I laughed softly. "Yeah. His name was Marcus. Dumb fella, but she used to think of him so highly. She said she was in love with both of us. I didn't understand it." I nodded. "She was from the city. A high society woman. He was a rancher." I looked down. "I should've known it would've never worked out. Her father nearly had a heart attack when he found out she was seeing a rancher. I would've put him in the grave if he found out she was seeing me." I laughed a little. Sadie did too.

"I was a fool. Even if I wasn't a gunslinger, I was still a woman." I shook my head. "We just weren't made to last. The last night we were together, she told me about how she couldn't keep seeing me. It broke my heart, but I understood. I left her. She kept writing me letters even after everything. Then, one day, she writes me a final letter." I looked over to the chest by my bed. I pulled out an old journal of mine. I used to draw in it. In between some pages, there were letters, all from Margaret. I found her goodbye letter. "Here it is." I handed it to Sadie.

"How'd you read them?" She asked and I answered. "I didn't. Arthur read them for me. I trusted him to not tell anyone my business. He used to help me write back to her too."

"Oh." She looked down at the letter. "Is it okay if I-?"

"Sure." I said. "It's all in the past anyway."

My dearest, Rosa.

I am to marry Marcus tomorrow. He's a very kind man with a loving heart. He reminds me of you. I feel you two would be friends if the circumstances were different. I suppose this letter is one of a farewell. It is the last letter i'm writing to you; well, I hope it's the last letter. Sometimes, I feel it too difficult to stay away from you. Anyway, I want to tell you how much I appreciated the time we shared. I really did love you, Rosa. But this life that you live, it's not something I could a part of. You have the luxury of being able to run away from your problems, while as I do not. I am nothing but a simple woman; while you are something much different. We could never be together, and I think you know that. Maybe if the world were different, I could love you freely. But for now, I can do nothing but wish you the best. I will always have a place for you in my heart.