Annihilation

Matter

I ran until my adrenaline faded, a break in the brush allowing us a space to stop and catch our breaths. I collapsed onto the grass, staring up at Jungkook. He stood over me and with the evening upon us he glowed against the indigo sky, still shaded with leftover hues of autumn.

"Sorry, I haven't run like that in a while." He spoke each word between huffs of breath, giving in to sit back so that he was propped on his elbows at my side.

The smile hadn't left his face since we stopped running and he was right. While we had ran in fear or from things, we hadn't run just for the sake of running, with no destination in mind.

"Let's go again." I ruffled my hair, shaking out any sprigs of grass that stuck to it before standing again. We'd been through too much and I could see it in the far away look he sometimes held. When we were still it was too easy for our minds to wander to those places of indescribable pain.

Right now I wanted to see him like this, free and uninhibited. It hurt too bad to envision him and Taehyung in the dark again, surrounded by bars, shackled, or used for sick entertainment. Right now, we needed to run.

I held out a hand for him and he didn't let me go even when he took off, in another direction that would lead us in a circle around our camp rather than further away.

We were in uncharted territory, Jungkook slowing and light on his feet so that I recognized that he was listening. I tried to tune into the sound, unable to make out any noise until he turned toward a tree, two squirrels scurrying up the trunk behind one another.

Jungkook was fast when it came to knife throwing but I was more accurate, his breaking into the bark first while mine came after, hitting the tail of one of the rodents so that it was trapped in its place. We lost the other to the thicket above, a few leaves falling with its ascent.

"At least you got the bigger one so we can share." He commented as he pulled it down from its higher place on the tree. It was squirming still and he made a quick move to crack its neck, tugging one of the spare rags he kept on hand to wrap it.

"My kill, my meal." I poked my tongue out at him, snatching the cloth away and taking off into a sprint. His laughter rang out behind me and he called my name, gaining momentum. When he reached out for my arm I jerked in the other direction, cackling until I came into a clearing.

Berries. There were berries everywhere, bushels untouched and filled with orbs in colors that matched every shade within the sky. I was surprised they survived past the end of the season, a little past the point of ripening but still edible. I recognized a few, tugging bulbs from stems to pop into my mouth.

Jungkook squatted next to a bush, examining the yellowish color of the berries that sprouted from cane.

"I'm not sure about all of these. Some of them could be poisonous." He examined, lifting the stalk to his nose to smell.

One side of my mouth was already full of berries and while I indulged in the ones I could identify he gathered a few of the others for Jin or Namjoon to mark as safe to eat.

I busied myself with plucking drupes to place in the small pouch attached to my belt loop, a few for Taehyung and Jin until we could return for more. We'd make enough of a meal to split between four with a small fish, a single squirrel and a handful of berries.

Jungkook's brow pinched together, lips pursed as if in frustration when tasting the blueberries I'd plucked. At first I thought he must be fighting against a disdain for the type of berry, but a drawl of satisfaction passed his lips, eyes closed in remembrance.

"My mother always made blueberry cheong." He muttered between chewing. "It's not the same but...." His words died off with an incomplete sentiment.

"Cheong?" I wondered, the name unfamiliar among the multitude of the dishes traditional to their heritage that they'd spoken of.

We started the walk back to camp while he explained, using the small, nearly invisible trail of smoke that lifted past the trees as a guide.

"It's a kind of syrup. We'd ferment it for a hundred days to draw out all the sweetness of the berries. She always had me take a spoonful of it before the colder seasons to help with immunity."

He nudged me, bumping his arm against mine when I was quiet for too long, a silent permission to inquire about the family he rarely spoke of.

"Will you tell me about her, about them?" I asked. I'd heard small snippets of memories from each of them about the families left behind in their home country. Usually it was short, a bypassing statement here or there that was quickly cut off. "If it's not too hard." I added.

"It feels like a different life....the before." He shook his head. I was sure he wouldn't continue, that remembering was too much until he described her, forever youthful despite being older than his father. She leaned toward more seriousness as she aged and had children, but Jungkook, the youngest of two boys, reminded her of that sometimes childlike demeanor she possessed. He sighed when he was finished, as if the way he looked to the ground would erase them from memory. "But it doesn't matter anymore."

His mouth was turned down and I only wanted to see him on the opposite side again, beaming between moments of turmoil, but there were some things I couldn't fix.

"It does matter." I tried anyway, not to get him to smile but to help him feel their importance. "They'll always matter."

We were interrupted by a few undead that formed a cluster among the trees. They turned toward the sound of our voices before we spotted them in the dark, baring decayed teeth and growling with every step closer.

There were few enough for us to take out with little effort, Jungkook leading with the first jab of the tomahawk he carried. We killed them in pairs, with one for each of us until we were down to a single fiend. It reached for my arm, desperate for a meal and not standing a chance when I sliced through its skull. As I pulled away, old, clotted blood and guts slung behind me to where Jungkook stood, splattering him with gunk.

I turned to find Jungkook's nose scrunching in disgust before transitioning into one that matched his endearing smile. He wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand, smearing innards into a murky brown paste against his complexion, a silvery gleam in the now present moonlight.

I was reaching for the edges of the rag that hung from his pocket before he could stop me, realization crossing his eyes as soon as I'd unraveled the cloth.

He grabbed the item that fell to the ground between us before I could. "I was going to give this to you later." He confessed. In his open palm lay a misshapen stone, golden hues that formed small bubbles inside. The edges were coarse and wrapped in brown twine that was split in several places, the hairs of fabric sticking out from the strands.

I knew what it was immediately and when he transferred it to my hand the color flushed out as if it were spreading across the sea, tears pooling behind my eyes. Still my thumb rubbed over the stone, areas that were jagged and smooth but equally beautiful.

"It's not the same but it reminded me of the broach from Hobi." He explained, his fingers brushing against my palm as he reclaimed the pendant. I remained still while he moved behind me, breathing slowly at the feel of him reaching under my hair to secure the cord into a knot at my nape.

My shirt was loose, the neckline falling off my shoulder and I could've sworn that the next feeling was his lips, feathering the soft skin at the crook of my neck. I didn't flinch, releasing a breath of ease at the lingering tingle of the light kiss being replaced by my hair and the weight of a gem that wouldn't last around my neck.