It's been a month since my panic attack and I've stayed home since and haven't spoke to anyone but somehow I'm getting ready for school well technically not school for a meeting with my couch see I've been dealing with depression since I was thirteen and she's been checking up on me everyday so I'm going to tell her and the reason why I haven't been at school for a month the doctor did say I should rest so and right now this is the most tired I've ever been mentally and physically so maybe getting would help so here I am
I wore a black flare jean and a white sweater with air forces and left my hair curly and lose
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(Lia's outfit)
I was mentally preparing myself to face everyone, especially Luca. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I've never been scared of anything, but this scares the living shit out of me
I got out of the Uber (and made a mental note to take driving lessons) I stood there in front of the school shit why's it so full and as if my worst nightmares could come true everyone looked at me and froze I'm kind of popular so me being gone for a whole month without saying anything and just coming back is a shock and I made eye contact with Amy ans she smirked at me bitch she was with Luca's friend group and so was Cammy of course she will her boyfriend is in that friend group I was kinda pissed at her cuz she didn't message me once in the mouth I've been gone
I put on my headphones and pretended to play music and then the whispering started "yo Cammy Lia's back" someone said she turned around and we made eye contact I didn't wanna deal with any of this so I just walked on fast that and because I could feel Luca looking at me I didn't wanna make eye contact with him because I know I'll burn out in tears
I got to my couches office and knocked on her door "come in" she said "hey couch" I say with a weak smile "ahh Lia your back how are you feeling I've been really worried about you, you weren't answering anyone" "yea I'm sorry about that I just needed to take a break and think about things" I said "take a break from what?" I took a deep sigh before speaking this is going to take awhile "ok for the past five years I've been dealing with depression and a month ago something triggered it and it led to me having a really bad panic attack...." I stopped before continuing by now I was crying uncontrollably I don't know how I managed to say that full sentence without stuttering "so I ended up in the hospital and the doctor said I should take a rest because I body is exhausted and I also took it because I didn't want to face what happened"
I finished saying and all she did was get up and hug me this was the first time she's hugged me and I let it happen I didn't feel uncomfortable or weird at all "I'm so sorry you have to go through all this Lia you are the most talented and beautiful young woman I've ever met your so full of passion and love and what your going through you don't deserve but you don't have to go through this alone I'll be here for you and with you you are like a daughter to me and I just want you to know you are loved " at this point I was ugly crying in her arms "thank you so much coach uhh what do I do now" I say laughing at the last part "well we can take you for counseling " "yea I think that's a good idea , I better head home now I'll be back tomorrow" "ok oh and how are you gonna get home?" "Uh that I don't know yet I think I'll just call an Uber " an UBER Lia your a young lady that's dangerous I'll call someone to drop you I just rolled my eyes at that
