Sweet Innocence and Gentle Sin || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

Chapter 27: Our Gentle Sin

We both sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, unsure about where to start. It was usually so easy to talk to him, to slip into a conversation that could last hours if given the chance.

I watched him uncork his bottle and take a drink from it—my eyes lingering on the way his throat bobbed and his head tilted back. My mouth dried in an instant, and I looked away as I gulped alcohol to help calm my nerves.

He looked down at my hands and said, "How are you feeling?"

I flexed my fingers and watched as the thinner bandages stretched and bunched. "It's not painful anymore. I think the bandages are just to make sure I don't cut them up."

He nodded and gave a half smile. "That's good to hear, though."

"I guess it is. And now we match."

I locked eyes with him and tried to keep my smile, trying to show that I wasn't upset about it. In fact, I thought it was nice to share something with the otherwise elusive shadowsinger. His eyes were transfixed on mine for a long moment. And though there was a depth of exhaustion, the glimmer of gold and brown was akin to starlight. I convinced myself that the flush of blood beneath his cheeks had to be from the alcohol.

He blinked and looked down at his hands. "I guess we do."

I wanted to change the subject so badly, so just blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do now."

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged and took another sip of the wine. "I've disowned myself from that horrible family, made myself a traitor of Hybern, lost my best friend, and... I gained my freedom—finally. Just... I don't know what to do with it now."

Azriel leaned back with ease, showing the shift from his once tense body. "What's the first thing that comes to mind?"

I sat on his words for a moment, then laughed and took another gulp of the alcohol to help with the pang in my chest. "I used to talk to Nalia about wanting to live on the beach. You know those giant trees? I want to see where the trees meet the water, and fall asleep to the sound of waves. Something about it sounds so relaxing, so predictable and routine. I think I need that after all of this pain."

Azriel was watching me closely, taking in every word like he was memorizing my voice. When I glanced back at him, he dropped his head and hid his eyes in his hair. The shadows around him looked like they were leaning closer to me, leaving his other side empty. Even his wings felt like they loomed over me instead of just beside me.

"What about you?"

He snapped his head up with a questioning sound, brows raised. I could tell he didn't hear a single word.

"If you had the chance to leave it behind, what would you do?"

I could tell a million ideas crossed his mind at once, all good enough to be answers, but none better than the others. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, "I've always wanted to own a bookstore. Organize it how I want, keep it clean, a good way to spend my time... keep a bit of that control."

I laughed. "Okay, how about something that isn't considered work to the other ninety-nine percent of us?"

Azriel shook his head at that, hiding his amusement. "It's stupid, really." When I kept staring eagerly at him, he continued. "I want a family. To live in a cliff-side house so I can teach my children to fly... so that they never have to know what it's like to be denied their basic instincts. I want the chance to prove to my fucked up family that they were wrong about me, and... I want to live a happy life. I promised my mother I would."