𝓢𝓷𝓸𝓸𝔃𝓮

27

i was serious when i said rumi needed to be talked to. now that my assignment is over i have the time to actually sit down and talk. it was supposed to be done sooner but i've been sooo exhausted. like not even getting out of bed.

beyoncé was on break too so i had her laid up with me. she goes back tomorrow though. we have to get this done today. definitely. can't keep pushing it back until it's forgotten. that's the problem with the people in this house. we go through things and never actually talk.

i'm thinking about therapy.

getting out of bed, i went to the bathroom so i could pee. my bladder felt so full, my stomach had a little pudge. looking like my first months with kyri all over again.

once i relieved myself i did my morning routine before waking bey. it was easy since she doesn't sleep too hard. while she handled herself i went to wake rumi. i want it to just be us three since she's mainly being affected by it all.

"mimi." i shook her some. she huffed in her sleep turning over a bit. "rumi."

"kyri just get up here." she grumbled making me chuckle. if she don't get her ass up. i shook her again making her smack her lips. "kyri. come on."

"girl get up."

"mm?" she jumped up, looking at me with so much confusion. kyri must've came in here in the middle of the night. i know he came in there with bey and i but he'll eventually go back to his own room.

no one even bothers him when he does that because it's him. he's gonna go where he feels like going.

"i thought you were ky. sorry."

"come on. we wanna talk to you about something."

"is this about mommy thinking i don't talk to her?"

"umm...no. not on my half at least. hurry up." i shrugged leaving her room. bey may wanna talk to her about that, i don't really know. but it'll be a good time to do so all at once. she's nine, we can't just stretch it with her.

there's still a lot she doesn't understand.

by time the two of them were finished i was sitting in the living room. they took so freaking long to just brush their teeth and shit. wanted to do whole ass routines and stuff. that could've waited.

"the hell y'all do? find nemo?"

"oh shut up." bey came and sat right next to me. no space whatsoever. i didn't complain though, i've been getting myself hip to her clingy ways. although i've been used to it.

rumi sat on the couch across from us, sleep all over. i knew she wanted to lay back down but this is important.

"ok, first of all. rumi you know i love you right? no matter what i'll always love you regardless of what happens."

"i know."

"so if things were to go left, you wouldn't have to worry about me leaving you or not speaking to you again. you'll always be one of my babies."

"mmhmm. i know."

i took a deep breath glancing to bey.

"we know we've been having a lot of issues baby and they're not going unnoticed by you guys. you're getting older so you pay attention a lot more." bey spoke this time. i was glad because i didn't know what the fuck to say.

i'm not good at this. i'm an only child..

"yea you've been fighting a lot."

"and we're sorry that you have to hear that."

"i know you think we're separating." i caught her eyes. she nodded while looking at me and i folded my lips. aw this is my ladybug... "we're not baby. so you can stop being so cautious about that alright? we've been working on our problems so that they won't bother you guys at all. when you hear us yell or argue, that's just us communicating baby. it doesn't mean we're gonna leave each other."

"well it always sounds hard. like you hate each other."

"no, we don't hate each other. we love each other a lot."

"i've heard you say it before."

"say what? that i hated her?" bey looked confused. i sat back for that one. i've never verbally said i hated bey so it has to be her. i'll never say i hate her in a way that's harmful. especially not for a child of ours to hear.

"yep. remember the day we came home from school and you were crying? i kept asking you what was wrong and you never answered. that same night when momma came back, you argued. really loud. and i heard you say you hated her...my room is the closest so i hear everything."

mmm. that's the day that started all of this. i didn't think the kids were awake, it was kind of late. but it makes a lot of sense. rumis room is literally next door to ours, just a bit down. our walls still connect.

"oh...i didn't mean it baby, i was angry that day. we've talked about that and i can promise you that you won't hear anything like that again. it was a lot going on and i just couldn't...i didn't know how to express myself in a better way. but we're learning, i'm learning."

"promise?"

"promise." i gave that promise. we shouldn't have a reason to let it be heard again. or to even deal with it again. especially not around the kids.

"so when you went to paris, was it really for work?"

"yes. i was telling you the truth baby, it was really work. but....it was also a little break for mommy and i. as you can see it didn't work so i'm back."

"yea cause mommy cried and made you."

"mmm...yea. you're right." i couldn't even lie. that's exactly what happened.

"i know."

"but are you okay? is there anything else you wanna talk to us about?" bey seemed desperate to hear her talk about anything. i could understand that. rumi doesn't really talk about much when it comes to herself. but to be honest, there's nothing to talk about. she's a happy kid living happily. plus she's nine i don't think there's so much she's put her attention towards yet. she's still young and opening her mind.

"nope. i'm okay." rumi gave thumbs up. "oh wait, my tooth came out. it's under my pillow."

"ok. i'll be sure to leave the tooth fairy a note." i stiffly nodded. she smiled letting us see exactly where that tooth came out at. her canine. aw she looks cute. like one of those kids in the commercials but cuter because she's my child.

i pulled out my phone while cooing and took pictures of her smile. that's so cute. snag mouth. reminds me of when she was younger and didn't have her two front teeth.

bey picked her up, hugging her super tight. i chuckled at them. this little girl is getting taller and taller, and bey wanna pick her up.

"my big girl." she kissed all over rumis face until she was groaning to be let loose. bey didn't plan on letting her go. "stop trying to move away, just let mommy hold you."

"are you crying?" rumis face showed horror. i wanted to laugh so hard. "mommy. stop the crying."

"no. you make me sad when you grow up."

"ok." rumi hesitantly rubbed beys head. really smoothing her curls down. aw they're so cute. i snapped a picture before walking away to leave them.

they need to have a moment.