𝓢𝓷𝓸𝓸𝔃𝓮

20

i've been trying my best to stay awake! i'm so tired! i did my first photo shoot yesterday and it went really well. i've been reviewing the pictures since it finished. i did good as hell.

i'm only irritated with the fact that i can't find the right ones to agree on. the girls did amazing, it's not them. i just feel like a lot could've been done differently. this is why i don't work with other people much.

i do everything on my own.

"go to sleep onika." kelly peeked in my room. i was curled up, leaning on my elbow covering my mouth just staring at the photos. "you been sitting like this for hours, you gotta get some rest."

it's like i was stuck. hearing her but not acting on it. i wanted to close the computer and my eyes next. jesus christ.

"nic." she walked closer, slowly closing it and i blinked, breathing in heavily. "go. to sleep."

without a word i sunk into the mattress pulling the cover over my head. mmmm, it feels good to close my eyes. kelly is a lifesaver because leave it to me i'll still be sitting here with my eyes glued to a screen.

"i'll call beyoncé and let her know you're sleeping. you left your phone and she called you. a lot."

"huh? wait." i sat up quick, grabbing my head when it pounded from the sudden movement. shit, i was not supposed to miss that call. the time difference is fucking me up, i gotta call her back.

it's midnight here so it's 5 there, she's probably using her break to talk to me. shit shit shit.

"my phone. please." i reached and she went to the living room to get it. when she gave it to me i immediately called bey. my heart is pounding. "baby. baby i'm sorry."

she just looked at the camera. i could tell she was so upset, it's all over her face. seeing how red she was, she had to be about to go crazy.

"i'm sorry mama."

"it's fine."

"no it's not, i promised i would wait for your call. how many times did you call?"

"like five."

"oh, i'm so sorry." i can't even pull her into a hug so i had to be bubbly. my baby. "what are you doing?"

"about to head home."

"how was rehearsals?"

"they were fine. i had to bring rumi with me again but lyric came to get her." she was talking dryly, i knew she was upset. either i did it by not answering or it was rumi. wouldn't be surprised if both was the actual answer.

"what'd she do this time?" i sunk back into the bed, laying the phone on the pillow. i'm still listening to her i just wanna lay down. rest my eyes for a little.

"the school called because she was saying bad words. i don't get why i was called like that hadn't happened before."

the sound of a car door slammed. it scared me making me jump a little bit. jesus babygirl.

"onika you need to come home."

"seven more days baby." i mumbled.

"no like sooner. seriously. i can't do this."

"yes you can."

"let me see your face. get up and talk to me."

i sighed heavily grabbing the phone and putting it up on the lamp so she could see me laying down. i'm so tired dude.

"onika please."

"i can't just leave beyoncé."

"why?" the whimper in her voice made me open my eyes to look at her. she better not start crying. i can't even stay awake enough to try and deal with crying. "onika please."

"what is going on baby?"

"it's hard without you! the kids don't even listen to me enough. rumi has not been getting in trouble like this until you left. do you know how many calls i've gotten? kyri doesn't like that you're gone because you know we both have to wake him up in the mornings. he doesn't even like me dropping him off to school. he'll cry. i'm- i'm stressed onika."

"first of all i think you're stressing yourself out over nothing baby. those kids listen to you, you just don't give them anything to listen to. you're so used to me being the hero that you can't put your foot down. be the mother bey."

"i am being the mother!"

"you are. you are being the mother but you have to let them know that my love. kyri, i don't really know he's just missing me and i understand that. i'm sorry you have to deal with that. but rumi....girl you better get on her ass. don't just give her the upper hand by bringing her home and that's it. give a punishment." i scrunched my face.

i swear every time it comes to rumi she's acts so off. she'll let that child push her to her limits until she's screaming. i'm tired of having to save her when she know she can get her.

"she's like you onika. that's why i don't do shit."

"what does her being like me have to do with anything?"

"i don't know. it's just that punishing her doesn't seem right when that's how she is."

"there's a limit to everything. she's pushing you."

"so what do i do?"

"don't cry." i sighed heavily. jesus christ.

"sorry." she put her fingers on her mouth as she drove. one thing about beyoncé she's gonna push herself to this point. "so what, pop her in the mouth or-"

"that'll do it. or pop her butt. she's nine beyoncé, she's still a baby. i swear to you if you yell at her and make her see that she's in trouble, she'll burst in tears."

i rubbed my eyes. i've only had to get on rumis ass so many times. she doesn't even do much in my presence anymore. of course there's days when she'll keep going and going but she'll chill.

"i miss you."

"i miss you too baby."

"you don't miss me. you're sitting here falling asleep while i talk."

"i'm sorry. i'm tired as hell though i've been up for hours, barely had any sleep...trust me i'm ready to go home more than you want me home."

"so commmeee."

"in seven days. i still have work to do."

"you're killing me." she laid her head on the steering wheel. uhhhhh, she's crying.

"baby...please stop."

"im s-sorry onika. i didn't mean to say those things to you, i don't hate you."

"beyoncé."

"whhaattt?" she sobbed. i got out the bed going to the living room. kelly sat on the couch in her phone. when she heard those cries she looked up quick.

"is she crying?"

i nodded.

"going back?"

"yep. i'll just have to make something work, but i gotta go home."

"alrighty. i'll get the flights."

"i'll be there baby. wipe your face and go take a nap."

"you coming home?"

"yes."