A/N: Idek.
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" A BALL!?!?!" Varian's voice echoed throughout the castle, Scaring several handmaidens.
Lance and Eugene gave the boy nervous smiles as Varian sat on the floor, hiding under a rug.
"No."
" What?" Lance asked.
" WHAT?!" Eugene asked more loudly.
" I said no! There's NO WAY i'm letting you guys dress me up in some uncomfortable outfit and put me in a room full of people of people i don't even know!" Varian bitterly said as he glared at the two.
" Oh c'mon kid! It would be considered an honor for you! You being the royal engineer and all, its only natural that you'd be there." Eugene said as he crossed his arms. Lance nodded.
" It doesn't matter. I don't even know how to dance, much less know how to act around other royals." Varian said nervously. The boy stuck his head back under the rug.
" Y'know thats okay kid- Because guess what? I've been to a few balls myself, and its not as bad as you might think. Me and Lance could teach you and get you ready! Mostly me." Eugene said as held his own chin with a smile. Lance narrowed his eyes at his friend.
"...You really think so?" The boy's muffled voice said.
" Sure! C'mon kid. You gotta pull yourself together."
Lance snapped his fingers. " Welcome to the house-"
Eugene joined in " To the house of Holbein, ja!"
Music suddenly exploded in the room, the power blowing the rug off of Varian who stood, eyes wide. Eugene and Lance danced and twirled as they threw clothes all over the room.
" Ooh ja!
Das ist gut, ooh ja!
Ja!
The Haus of Holbein."
Lance sang as he sat Varian down at a vanity, turning his head to look at the mirror.
" Hans Holbein goes around the world,
Painting all of the beautiful boys
From Spain-"
Eugene: "to France!"
" And Germany~
The King chooses one, but which one will it be?"
Suddenly Varian was whisked from his chair to stand as the two men put on a waist corset for men and pulled the strings to tighten it on each side.
" You bring the corsets, "
" Eugene: we'll bring the cinches, "
" No one wants a waist over-"
The string suddenly pulled so tight Varian's sides were squished. His face showed discomfort.
" nine inches."
Varian now wore a waistcoat with dark blue slacks and he sat back at the nightstand as Eugene powdered his face.
" So what? The makeup contains lead poison-"
"It WHAT-"
" At least your complexion will bring all the girls in." Lance said to the boy as Varian rose a brow.
The two men sang in harmony as they continued to play with the boy's hair in different styles.
" Ignore the fear and you'll be fine!
We'll turn this vier into a nine
So just ja and don't say nein..."
Eugene: "'Cause now you're in the house!"
The lights suddenly changed colors in a strobelight sequence as they danced.
Both: "It's a Haus of Holbein, ja!
Ooh ja!
Das ist gut, ooh ja!
Ja!
The Haus of Holbein."
Eugene plucked the boy's eyebrows as Varian grimaced with each pluck.
" We must make sure the princes' look great-
When their comes for a Holbein portrait."
Lance threw a few clothes out of the closet as he looked them over.
" We know what all the best inventions are-
To hold everything up."
Eugene: "Ja, it's wunderbar" Varian gave the man a weird look.
Lance sprayed something into the boy's raven hair as he combed through it.
" For blonder hairs, and you just add a magical ingredient
From your bladder~~~"
Varian's eyes widened "Wait what-"
Lance gave the boy a pair of dress shoes to improve the boys height.
" Try these heels, so high it's naughty-
Both: "But we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at 40." They smiled before strutting around the boy and circling him as they inspected their work.
"Ignore the fear and you'll be fine!
We'll turn this vier into a nine
So just ja and don't say nein.."
Eugene: "'Cause now you're in the house!"
The two danced as they spun Varian out of his chair as the strobe lights started again.
Both: " In the house of Holbein!
Ooh ja!
Das ist gut, ooh ja!
Ja!
The Haus of Holbein."
The lights suddenly went back to normal as Varian stopped spinning. Lance and Eugene both looked at the boy with their arms crossed.
" ..You think the shoes were too much?"
Varian looked at the two before his ankles failed and the boy fell. " woAH!"
"...Yeah, too much."
YOU ARE READING
Varian Oneshots and Imagines ( VAT7K & xReader ) DISCONTINUED
Fanfiction**DISCONTINUED** I need a book of smaller shorts that i write and have saved in my drafts that never see the light of day. So here it is! Mostly just VAT7K situations and imagines, and probably a few x reader oneshots. Usually i post with a soundtra...
