Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 147 (M)

"I want you so bad I can't stand it." He retorts, in one quick maneuver I flip him over onto his stomach, gripping him by the hips and yanking them into the air so that he rests on his knees. It effectively silenced him, having his cheek crammed into the mattress while he was exposed to my desire.

Delivering a sharp smack to his ass, I'm rewarded with a shakey exhale, I can't help but roll my eyes, I know how much he enjoyed being flogged. "You're something else." I sigh, carefully rubbing the offending spot with my palm. "What would your friends think if they saw you like this?"

Verando doesn't answer this time, I tilt my head at the sudden silence.

I smack him again, harder, "I'm feeling kind, so I'll spell it out for you." I apply a generous amount of lubricant to my cock, gripping his hips as I yank him back against me, rubbing against him with hopes to encourage him into more begging. "This is my will, to have you this way, for as long as I desire so that you keep making those pretty noises for me. Understand? That is my instruction for you, show me how you intend to gain my favor-"

I hesitate when I realize he's fallen silent, and for a moment, I'm worried I lost him to Fenrir but instead, I see that his eyes are wrenched shut in a way that doesn't indicate that he was enjoying this.

Quickly, I untie him, pushing him onto his side as I wait for him to come back to me. "Why didn't you tap out?" I ask shortly, frustrated by his desire to lay there and tolerate where he wasn't a willing participant. "Randy, how am I supposed to trust you when you-" Running a hand through my hair, I growl roughly in frustration, catching the distant look on his face and knowing this ran a lot deeper than simply being drunk off his ass.

We were treading close to the root of the problem, why he felt the desire to order a chamber that would be his worst nightmare, and why he felt he deserved to be taken in such a manner. In our other experiences where I had been on top, he hadn't been nearly so persistent with his preferences. I should have known better, yet I was trapped in the predicament that I wanted so desperately to be enough for him. 

I knew he missed this part of the play, yet the more we indulged, the more I realized he was chasing something that never existed. I wasn't willing to maim him further, to use him in the manner in which he was accustomed.

"I need you to answer me." I attempted, pulling the gloves off his hands to remove any semblance of the play, I wasn't worried about his ability after I effectively prevented Fenrir's physical assault. 

"It's not your fault. I was so interested in punishing myself, that I got in my head, and... that was almost exactly what Caspian said to me, in the same position. If you'll give me just a moment, I can get back into character-" The look on my face must tell him that I had no interest in continuing.

With a short grunt in disappointment in himself, he props himself up on his elbows while I struggle to come to terms with the fact I'd told him the same thing that lunatic had before he'd raped him. I was worrying him, I'd seen under the veil and had another glimpse of just how not okay he was. "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up, Nic. Please don't look at me like that."

That was his issue, he always blew past his limit with no regard for his safety. We'd done this before and he seemed to enjoy it, but even then I went way beyond what was normal for a beginner on the receiving end. Verando was tolerant to a fault in that he felt he deserved the discomfort, he was not worthy of someone's patience.

"Don't apologize to me for something that happened to you. Randy, we have hardly even talked about what happened, if I had known- Baby, I want to know you're alright in there. This is about doing this together, not getting some revenge on Fenrir while using my husband's body to do it. I'm sorry, I don't work that way."