Sweet Innocence and Gentle Sin || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

Chapter 26: Feel Normal, Please

"And what about you? Will you be staying here?" I already knew his answer, but part of me asked simply because it made my stomach flutter. I needed that feeling to remind myself that I was alive, and this numbness wasn't powerful enough to control me.

He studied my face a moment before he said, "still haven't decided that yet."

A voice rose from the crowd that I hadn't noticed before. I was so used to the usual meetings that it didn't even register until now that Rhysand was in the room. His presence was as deep as his father's, this pit of darkness sucking in all around to listen intently to his words—his every breath.

There was a power that wasn't anywhere found in his father. A force of thunder bellowing deep within the mountains, drowning out every echo of the power the High Lord wielded. It was terrifying to feel now... how much more would it be when he came to power?

I remembered that vision I had. It felt like years ago now—but it was only months—if that. I could barely keep track of time anymore to know the specifics. But that vision—that memory—it made my breath catch. His eyes were glowing with magic that night, nothing like now. There was a weight to his presence there that was missing now.

How far in the future was that vision? How much time needed to pass before it happened? I could feel eyes on me, probably because I was holding my breath. At some point, the High Lord will die, and his son will inherit the most frightening power in our world.

How was I to tell them? Could I explain how those halls held a familiarity I realized only now? Do I tell them the truth? Do I tell them how those halls are identical to the ones of the manor in the Spring Court?

No. I needed to find out more first, to figure out why those events happened. Jumping to conclusions could lead to catastrophic outcomes.

Azriel called my name, making me look up. "What?"

"You did that thing again," he said.

I blinked and breathed a laugh to clear up any tension in me. "Sorry, just lost in thought again."

All I wanted was for the meeting to end. At this point, they were just babbling about nothing to take up more time. I hated it with a passion. And, of course, my job was only to stand there and look alive and pretty, so no one got cold feet.

Not once was I asked a question or allowed to voice my opinions. I could fall asleep and no one would notice—I wouldn't, but it was tempting.

When it was finally over, I shuffled through the door and slipped into an empty hallway. I didn't know where it would lead, but all I wanted was a moment alone, so I didn't care. I stopped walking when I could no longer hear the obnoxious males and the sound of heartbeats had faded enough to be overlooked.

I dropped my head and covered my eyes. The rough feeling of bandages made me jolt back. I stared at the gauze wrappings, wondering for a moment what my hands would look like.

The reminder they brought was horrifying. The feeling of what caused it—the burning, boiling feeling beneath my skin. That shock of nerves firing with uncontrolled and overflowing power.

The thing that caused it all to begin with. The feeling of her warm blood, of her lifeless stare. How fast it all ended. How quick such an act could be at ending a life. The weighed, freezing feeling of her hand limp in mine. The blue paint under her skin. So sudden and cold, with no remorse or care for the time I so desperately needed.

It made me sick, but I swallowed it down, not willing to give in to the grief. I slumped against the wall, slid to the ground, and looked up at the ceiling, the cool stone against the back of my head. All I wanted was to spend a moment alone and not think about that. All I wished for was the chance to drown it out, to forget it for a moment and pretend that the world was normal.