1 | The Terrible Dreamer

Chapter 22

AIYA

The front yard is a mess and the morning sun is breaking through the tree lines lingering smoke. The last of the firetrucks left just a few minutes ago, leaving two police cars and a fire deputies' truck in our circle drive. I've been standing outside on the grass, staring at the serpent water fountain, for an hour now, while my mother is telling them what to write on the reports and have this entire fiasco look like an accident. But it wasn't an accident.

Wish is gone. Ken is burned. Kenna is scared shitless and has been hiding in the bushes for a good twenty minutes behind me. I should talk to her, but I don't have it in me to be cordial and comforting. I just lost my best friend—my sister—to that nightmare planet.

I can't believe how weak I am. After all those years training with Kusanagi, I couldn't protect Wish. I promised to have her back, instead I couldn't even lift a finger when the time came. I could only watch as Vear chased after her.

Why did she let go of my hand?

Security walks past me, suggesting I go inside while they clean up the mess and reinstate the barriers around the complex. Why bother? They obviously don't work against a Faceless. Ken is proof of that. His burns are seared into my mind. I could only see red in that moment when he was being attacked. If I hadn't saved him, he'd be dead right now. And yet, a tiny part of me can't help regretting it. I'm horrible.

Why did she let go of my hand!

Gregori gently touches my shoulder before setting a med kit on the grass. Both sleeves are rolled to his elbows. "Here, let me heal your wounds."

"Ken needs it more than me. You should heal him first," I tell him, but he takes my hand anyways and cleans the dried blood off my skin.

Gregori smiles and he's almost too excited. "He was my first patient. His burns have healed, but his skin will be tender for some time and he did some pigment. If I change the formula just a smidge, we might..." he rambles on and I tune him out.

I forgot how crazy he is.

He picks up a metal canister and unscrews the lid. The healing cream instantly works at my skin, itching and stitching it, I have to keep myself from scratching. "You were amazing out there. I was hiding in the bushes like a coward, while you were attacking head on."

Don't praise me. Angry tears threaten to fall. "I was weak and stupid. I should've known to conserve my energy. Instead, I pushed myself past my limits. In the end, I couldn't save her."

I should be stronger than this.

"You did the best you could," he says. "I don't know Wish very well, but I know she wouldn't want you beating yourself up over this."

He's right. Wish would be moving forward, not sitting on the couch sulking like a child. Kusanagi trained her, too. She has more experience in Akane than I do. She's still alive. She has to be. But I just can't get that horrible image out of my mind.

When Ken and I arrived at the tornado shelter, the door was ripped open, a heap of scrap metal scattered over the forest floor. We ran down stairs and it only got worse. There were claw marks in the walls and holes in the floors. Parts of the ceiling had cracked and the door was closed. And there was dried blood on the door handle I knew belonged to her.

Stupid, so stupid. I can't believe she dreamwalked into his mind that night. I was sleeping right next to her. She could've easily asked for help. Why does she insist on doing everything on her own?

Car doors open and close behind me. An engine revs, one police car leaves down the road back towards the main gates, while the others linger behind. They're still chatting with my mother, confirming the reports have been altered, sucking up to her to be in her good graces. We don't need to pay them off, we already are, but an extra incentive isn't a bad thing.