TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

45

I raised my brows, taken aback by the compliment. “Oh. Thanks. I really appreciate that.”

“You never come to class unprepared. I always look forward to your comprehensive lectures.”

I hoped I didn’t look too flustered as I shifted in my seat, not knowing what to do with my hands. I could feel my cheeks warming. “You never want to see your patients unprepared, too. I hope I've made it clear that medical practice actually starts early here.” Choi Soobin’s mouth parted as if he wanted to say some more but didn’t know what, and he ended up smiling instead.

He added, a brief moment later, “I read your research, by the way. I couldn’t understand all the medical technicalities yet since I'm still in my pre-clinical, but it's a great insightful read, Sir. And I found out you graduated top of your class? I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to stalk you–I just randomly searched your name on Naver because I sort of… look up to you and I wanted to see your credentials. I hope that’s okay…” He made a bashful smile that almost mirrored my own embarrassment.

“Oh, wow… That's a lot of looking up.” I chuckled which pushed yet another string of apologies out of his mouth. I waved my hand. “No, it's okay. I was just surprised.” I struggled to keep the eye contact. I picked my pen up to give my hands something to do, playing with it between my fingers. “Make sure to come to our next class. Midterm examinations are just around the corner.”

“Yes, will surely do, Dr. Jeon. Uh, I have to go now,” he looked hesitant to go as he thought of something to say next, “thanks for your time.”

I pursed my lips and nodded my head, playing it cool as if the startle in my rib cage didn't feel great in a way that mattered. I might've been a bit ecstatic at the sound of the words still lingering in the room, shaped into a solid form leaning itself against the walls to be there with me. Soobin bowed, turned his back to me and walked out of the office.

The door clicked shut. My gaze was stuck on it for a while.

. . .

I hadn't hung out with my main friend group in a long time which was a bit of a heavy thought lodged in my chest. I was trying to lift it off with the company of other people. Maybe friendships are about permanence and gaps at the same time. This, being held and kept by others and unfamiliarity, might compensate for the absence of my favorite people. They'd convinced me to call them by their names outside of work.

We were away from the paperworks for a while. Away from the whirring and buzz. The lights and smoke and all the other tipsy voices surrounded us. A group of young office workers walked in, crowded up the table next to us and called a server over out loud. A middle-aged lady hurried past our table towards the customers.

I rolled up my sleeves and picked up the tong from Yunmi's side, putting more meat on the grill. I listened to the sizzling sounds. Watched the steam rising.

“My first day was pretty terrible.”

“Yeah, mine was, too. But I was also excited so that offset against it, I guess.”

“They ask you a series of questions on your rounds, right,” Hoseok laughed as he remembered, “The attending likes to embarrass junior residents. I was so lucky to be the target that day.”

Yunmi agreed. “It's supposed to encourage residents to study harder as we know now, but it still sucks. I would stammer through the entirety of it and wish I could melt in front of everyone.”

Hoseok covered his mouth as he burst out laughing again. “Exactly! It's way more humiliating when patients witness how stupid you look.”

A hum. “And then they tell you these jargons and acronyms as if you're supposed to already know them.”