Mosaic

Keep Going

The principles of the magic of intention...

OK, bear with me, I'm going to practice my teacher's voice, and pretend to be professional.. :s and you can maybe nod your head encouragingly now and again.

Then again who am I kidding.. I'm about as unprofessional as they come. Rather seems like professionalism would be a mask and ... that's not who I am really. I'm just ...me. That's all. And surely I can work and do something I find enjoyable without needing to put on a mask that suggests I have some idea of what I'm doing.

Really in life, everyone is trying to figure things out through trial and error.

I think this relates to intention honestly. I like the idea of it more than nearly all other forms of magic. I like that it's simple but powerful. I like that it's easy to underestimate.

The best example is when making food.. doing anything really, but to make food.. let's say we're making tea.

Jumm plabla klapla jahummm bapla--

Oh, you don't chant when making tea? Hm, ok I'll resist. What's life without a challenge?

To make the tea with intention we might think of those going to drink it, and as such we want the tea to be nourishing, and refreshing. Something that will bring warmth and happiness.

And in this way, we might make it slow, and be focused on the task at hand. And what we're mentally putting into the beverage.

Though thoughts are not something we can see, at least in most worlds, they are real things. Just as real as a chair, or um.. a ukulele. The thoughts and intentions cause a physical change to the tea. As if the frequency of our intention gets embedded.

This magic can be expanded in other ways. Before starting a task we might use it to consider how the task will go, or more specifically how we ideally want it to go. 

Hmm, I must say I don't feel much like a natural teacher... Perhaps in large part because I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. 

I've been studying about your world more. I'm such a stocker. I'm determined to use words as they're relevant to your world. 

I think my world is interesting.. and yet, do others? And it seems like it would get confusing to keep going on about rotations instead of years and so forth... only a rotation here is more like a year and three quarters.

I'm not feeling like myself today. I feel like my brain is attempting to turn a rather sharp corner, and I can't be sure if that's even the right thing to be doing.

It's good I go to classes. I do like the classes. I'm feeling a bit like a goody two shoes maybe. In large part because of the world I was born into, and what I was taught when I was young.

Things like following the rules, and everything in its place. This is how it is. 

But it leaves me feeling like I follow the rules, and did and do as I'm told as if .... as if...? 

It leaves me wondering is that's all there is to life. But also, it feels like like going on a train ride. You get in and secure yourself inside and ... off it goes... I followed the tracks, followed the rules. I sat and listened... As if my path was preordained, and I need only follow the tracks and do as I'm told to do.

And I think I thought that all of life was like sitting in that train car. As if ..... as if it was going someplace specific to me. It's maybe like getting on a rollercoaster and thinking that that ride would be all of life, and all I was meant to do was sit, observe, and experience the ride.

And now. I guess it's stopping. Now ...now suddenly I'm supposed to know and desire some specific kind of work I want to pursue. I'm meant to know what direction to be going in when... I was just in the train car or rollercoaster being pulled along all serenely. And this abrupt change wasn't in the rulebook! They want me to suddenly make decisions! And the first decision is going to affect the rest of my life... no pressure.

But you did well in your last life.

Last life there was a harvesting shortage, and I could harvest, so I went and harvested. It was just logical. I think it wasn't so much that I decided to do it, but rather that it was needed so I did it. 

Perhaps in my last life, I stayed on the train. I just went where life took me.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But now that I'm aware of the train, and decision, and the ability to build my path ... how do I decide?

Don't put so much pressure on a decision that you can change later. 

Ok, I think for now, I'll just commit to being an instructor then. Just because I'm not good at it now doesn't mean I won't be. And nothing else has really caught my interest.

I wonder if others feel this way also about the train analogy. I wonder what occupations they are pursuing. 

I think I could talk more about the magic of intention but that.. I'm just not feeling it for the moment. And maybe that's ok. 

Maybe it's somehow not what I'm meant to be writing about. And yet... if that's the case.. what am I meant to be talking about?

I think that when writing it's nice, and euphoric to have a breakthrough. And yet today... isn't a breakthrough kind of day maybe. Back to my classes, and back to everyday life. And it's ..fine. It's ok. And I'm grateful to still be able to have the time to write.

And in this way, I think what I'm meant to be writing about today is how even though we maybe can't visually see progress every day, it doesn't mean that there's not a lot to be grateful for. 

It doesn't mean there isn't progress. At the very least internally.

It's good that we keep going. 

And for my part. I think it's ok. Dealing with some indecision still... but I am understanding more. And I am grateful for today even though in some ways it doesn't seem as euphoric as other days.

And yet. I will keep going. I want to keep going. I'm glad to be alive... And maybe in this way, I can be reminded of the things I do love. That feeling I had diving into the deep water. 

It's not a bad day by any means. Rather it just sort of is as it is. And I guess I feel a bit stagnant because I have this direction and .. where to go from here?

Before you go anywhere, you must first make a decision.

Maybe before I make a decision, I need to not be afraid of making a decision. I think that might be what this boils down to a bit.

And in this way, I need to stand up straight and move forward into the unknown.

The only failure is not trying.

Then.. I have to try. My biggest fear isn't the unknown, or making a wrong decision, but rather I fear living an un-lived life.

So.. perhaps in this way my direction and decision is ...surmountable. Because I can't not try. 

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