Breathtakingly, Her

10

Chapter 10

Misunderstandings

"I care for you so much." She looked flustered and sweaty from being nervous. I widened my eyes to the realisation of that.




To think of it, I had many friends around me during high school but to her... I was the only one she had. I can't believe I didn't even acknowledge that.




"I don't care if you have other friends anymore. I just want to be your friend again... If that's the thing we'll be after this, I'd still be very glad. It would be better than us ending on bad terms." She tried to smile in front of me. But, I could see her shaking. Like she's about to hyperventilateㅡ crying.




I'm too shaken.




She looks down on her hands that are on her lap and tears fall down one by one.




"I blamed myself... so much, for having you leave me with no reasons being told." She mumbled. "It hurt me too... but, it feels wrong to be hurt when you were hurting first. And it was because of me."




Then, I felt shaken as well. Camille's mother left her with no words either. And I left her with no words... may have triggered her trauma and I'm regretting it now. How come I became so ignorant about her feelings just because I focused on mine first?




I stood up from my seat and sat on my knees next to her chair. I look up at her as she looks down on me vulnerably.

"I'm sorry for hurting you too." I apologised. "Before anyone else came into my life, you were there first. I considered you as my family, Camille. So... I'm sorry.. For not trying to understand you just because I was hurt. I was blinded by all the thoughts and doubts I had.. that I couldn't even consider yours."




She stayed quiet.




"You mean to me too, Camille. You did. That's why I was hurt much more than ever. Because I..." I pause for a moment. "I love you too, Callie." To me, honestly, Callie is like a sister that I never had.




She looked at me with shining hazel eyes and it made me feel like cupid's arrow had finally struck my heart sharply. How is she this gorgeous even when she's crying?




I saw her face go crimson in front of me and she immediately looked away. Huh?




"Are we friends now?" She asked while looking the other way. "I know it's a bit rushed... but, I can't help it, right now."




"Yes, Callie. Best friends. Since... you're the only one I ever considered a best friend. Why not?" I giggle.




She looked at me and smiled. "You should stop sitting on the floor, you look silly."




We both laughed and I stood up from the ground. It can't be helped as an awkward atmosphere filled between the two of us. I went back to my seat as I remembered something in particular.




"Oh, right..!" I exclaimed as I handed her the red umbrella she gave me the other day. "Your umbrella, I'm really grateful for this or else I'd have a bad fever by now." I chuckled to avoid this awkwardness, I could see her eyes glimmer and how she smiled with crimson cheeks.




For a "nonchalant" girl like her, she does seem like she likes to smile a lotㅡ Not saying that she shouldn't; She just does seem cute. I can see why my past crushes/exes liked her.




"You can keep it," She insisted. "It's your favorite color, no?" I widen my eyes to the thought of how she still remembers my favorite things.




"Of course, I haven't changed since then.." I mumbled and drank my water to avoid a cheeky smile. I'm really glad she's my best friend again. Now that my burning anger for her died down; I realised I might have missed her too much, like really.




"But, you did?" I added another topic to talk about. "I love how you used to fear driving, but now you have a motorbike you drive around on."




This made me remember the conversation I had with her in the past when she told me she would fear driving and I told her I loved to go on rides and would even try driving for myself in the future.




Yet, everything about that got exchanged because now she's the one driving a motorbike and I'm the one with no vehicle yetㅡ I had a sudden fear of driving. T'was just so sudden. . .




She looked at me with those eyes. I can't explain it, but . . . "I drive now, because of you." Huh?




"I may have feared driving; but every time I got reminded of how you said you wanted to go on rides, I started wanting to give you rides anywhere. And how else would I do that, but.. Drive you myself?" She explained further and I widened my eyes. I could feel the cold temperature of the restaurant getting so warm.




"You know if you were a man, I'd definitely fall for you." I said out of shock. "You seem to be good with wordsㅡ for a woman." I chuckle and shake my head.




"Well, do I really have to be a man to be good with words?" She arched her brow and revealed a soft cunning smile.




"No, but you have to be a man if you're trying to win me with those words." I shrugged jokingly. I laughed it off as she just went quiet. I love how she's always maintaining a quiet manner no matter how our conversation goes.




She cleared her throat and looked outside. "It's getting dark, I'll drive you home." She told me like she was sure of it. She didn't even ask for permission first, which made it seem she was determined to actually take me out on a ride. "If you let me, obviously." She smiled.




"Of course I'd let you." I smiled back and we stood up to leave the restaurant. We had food served at our table and I didn't even notice how good it was when we ate because we were fully focused on our conversations.




Instead of leading me to her motorbike, she walked next to me instead; keeping a pace and a stance that would make us tandemly walk.




"I enjoyed our day together." I look at her and she smiles as she looks at the path.




"I can't even explain how happy I am, Celeste. I'm even more grateful to you for having me." She told me with her eyes still on the tracks, but even with just her voiceㅡ I could feel genuine feelings. I may be just delusional, because I know it's her but I just can't help it.




"I'm grateful for you too." I mumbled as I almost stumbled on my own feet, because I kept looking at her.




"Wait here," She says as she goes to her motorbike. She went and grabbed a red helmet and gave it to me. I vividly remember the helmet she made me wear on the night of the party and it was definitely not red. Now, she's wearing her helmetㅡ and it was the helmet I used to wear. I assume she didn't have another helmet prepared that day. That's why she had let me use her own helmet. "Red," She quietly remarked.




Did she specifically buy this helmet just for me? Did she really plan on giving me rides?




"ㅡJust like how you'd want it." She continued. "I hope you'd let me give you rides... Even though Zayn's probably already given you plenty." She mumbled as she hopped on her motor. I hopped on as well and I immediately placed my arms around her waist and made it like a seatbelt for the both of us.




"I prefer feeling the whole world around me like how I felt when you drove me to your apartment." I told; closely to her ear.




"Was that a yes?" She almost sounded happy, whilst she started the motorbike.




"If you originally wanted to drive a vehicle just for me. That just proves how you really want this... and I'm grateful for you for always thinking about what I like to do." I said as the ride went on. . . "And from now on, what I want to do is spend more time with you."




I could feel the wind as she went by faster with her motorbike. I held onto her tightly as she doesㅡ I do like how windy it is in the night time. I think this will be my favorite thing to do, starting from now. I could hear Camille mumbling while she drove and I pulled myself closer to her shoulder.




"Did you say something, Camille?" I whispered closely to her ear and I could feel the motorbike shake for a moment, until it became stable.




"Wait. . . You're making me nervous," She spoke under her breath and just in time I heard it because of the closeness I held with her. I could feel her breathing shake. Did I make her uncomfortable..? Shit.