Do You Know Me?

Making Amends

Jade's POV

I find myself at the asphalt cafe for lunch. I'm seated at a table, accompanied by Cat, Robbie, Rex, and Beck today. Rex disgusts me, Robbie is a complete freak, and I still don't particularly want to talk to Beck. Despite my disdain for these "people", I have to make sure Cat doesn't accidentally injure herself (or worse), so I reluctantly stick with the group for her sake. The only thing that makes this situation even remotely tolerable is my large cup of coffee.

"Hey Jade! Look at what I can do!" Cat says, as she takes out a handful of gumdrops out of her bra and tosses them into the air. She quickly tilts her head up and opens her mouth as if she's going to catch them all, but ends up missing each and every one. The gumdrops scatter as they hit the ground.

"Dang it!" She pouts "Okay, I'm gonna try it again!" She reaches into her shirt again to retrieve more candy, but I quickly grab her arm to stop her from making a bigger mess.

"Okay Cat, that's enough." I say. Luckily, I know how to prepare for moments like this. I reach into my backpack and take out a colouring book and a few crayons. I hand them to the little redhead.

"Here, make some pretty colours," I order.

"Oh yay! Crayons!" Cat squeals, eagerly opening the book and turning to a blank page. I roll my eyes and take a sip of my coffee. This is going to be a loooong lunchtime.

"So, are you guys excited for my party next week?" Robbie asks "There's gonna be live music, a karaoke machine, a bouncy castle-"

"Nobody cares!" I cut him off.

"Dang, woman!" Rex interjects. I grab the puppet and tear off its arms, throwing the limbs as far away from me as possible. Robbie just cowers and lets out a terrified squeak.

"Would it kill you to be a little nicer to people?" Beck asks. I give him a death glare, but it doesn't seem to faze him.

"I didn't ask for your input!" I spit. God, I can't stand him!

"I didn't ask to be tossed aside!" Beck raises his voice slightly.

"I didn't ask to fall out of love with you!" I reply, slamming my coffee cup onto the table. "God you are insufferable!"

I turn to Cat and Robbie for a moment. Cat's covering her ears with her hands and shaking her head back and forth. Robbie stays completely still and lets out a tiny squeak.

"You're making our friends upset!" I say.

"Me?! You're the one who started this!" Beck replies.

"Am I?" I ask.

"Yes! You told Robbie that nobody cares about his party."

"Because nobody does!"

"Jade, don't be like this!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" I yell, getting up from my seat. I take my coffee with me. I know I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on Cat, but I really don't want to be anywhere near Beck right now.

"Wait Jade, don't go!" I hear the little redhead call out to me.

"Colour your book!" I snap back. Cat reluctantly obeys. I make my way back into the school and head straight for the Janitor's closet. I take my favourite pair of scissors out of my backpack. The janitor got a new garbage can, which is perfect for me since I need to blow off some steam. I begin to mutilate the giant plastic bin in front of me, cursing Beck under my breath each time the blades open and close. As if today couldn't get any worse, my ex-boyfriend marches through the door, a frustrated look on his face.

"I don't care if you don't want to see me," he says "you need to be nicer to people." I can't even look at him right now.

"C'mon Jade, you can't just ignore me forever," he keeps saying words to me, but I don't have the time or patience to listen to it.

"Look, I'm sorry things between us ended the way they did," He says, his voice softening a bit "Sure, you may have hurt me when you left, but I will admit, I wasn't the best boyfriend to you either." I stop cutting up the garbage can for a second. Did Beck just... apologize to me? I quickly glance over at him.

"There are things I wish I'd done differently," He continues "I don't know if me doing them differently would've kept you by my side but I know it would've made our breakup hurt a lot less." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I know things between us right now aren't great, but I miss you, and knowing you, I think you miss me too" He says. I look him in the eye for the first time in months. He gives me a weak smile, and in that moment, I realize he means every word.

"No. I'm sorry for leading you on for as long as I did," I reply, brushing his hand away and putting my scissors back into my backpack. He's right to an extent. Even though I don't love him like I used to, I do miss him. Behind my bitterness and grief is a small part of me that still cares about him, a small part that feels guilty about the way I handled our breakup. It's why I haven't talked to him in so long. I couldn't face him knowing what I did. "Y'know, I wish I did some things differently too." Beck's smile grows as he pulls his fingers through his hair for a moment.

"So... does that mean there's a chance we could... y'know..." He stammers a little. I know what he's going to ask, but I know that I can't give him what he wants anymore. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, Beck," I say "I don't think we can fully go back to the way things were..." Beck nods in understanding. "... But I think, with enough time, we could still be friends. What do you think?"

"Yeah, that'd be alright with me," He says, sighing in relief "and I think-" Suddenly, the door to the closet opens, and Tori steps inside.

"Hey Jade, I was looking for you and-" she stops mid sentence, raising her eyebrows as she sees Beck and I. She quickly composes herself and gives us a proud smile.

"Oh, Beck, I didn't know you were here too," She says. "Sorry, am I interrupting anything?"

"Don't worry about it," I say "We were just talking, that's it." A grin begins to form on Tori's face. There's something off about her expression though, as her smile doesn't quite seem to reach her eyes.

"Oh, that's good! I'm so happy you guys are talking again!" She says. Even though she sounds excited, there's a hint of sadness buried deep beneath her cheery attitude. "Y'know what? I'll just find you some other time, yeah?" The brunette leaves us. Beck turns to leave as well. He hold the door open as he stands in the doorway and turns around to look at me.

"I'm glad we're talking too," he says. "See you around." he gives me a warm smile before walking away. I take a deep breath, feeling significantly lighter. I don't particularly like being happy, but I must admit, making peace does feel good. I allow myself to smile for a second before sporting my usual scowl as I leave the closet. Despite my bitter exterior, I couldn't feel any more elated.

Things are looking up!