Do You Know Me?

Like Me, Hate Me

Tori's POV

Jade's back in school. That's all I can say, really. Ever since I told her that Beck and I went to Skybucks, she's been completely avoiding me. She wont pick up her phone, answer my calls or texts, nothing. When I try to speak to her at school, I'm either met with a 'Fuck off, Vega!' or complete silence. And as if she wasn't rubbing enough salt into my wounds, she seems to be slowly warming back up to everyone else except for Beck and I. I can sort of understand why she wouldn't want to talk to Beck, but me? I've been nothing but supportive and patient with her, and she's treating me like garbage in return.

This isn't anything new, but it feels different than all the other times she's done it. Before, we were in a weird frenemy situation, so it didn't bother me as much since we both had our guards up, but now we're friends, or we at least we were , and her rejection feels a million times worse. I'd fully opened myself up to her, invested so much of my time and energy into her, and she just tossed it all away. She opened herself up to me as well, giving me access to parts of her world that she worked incredibly hard to keep hidden, and now she won't let me in anymore. It feels like a part of me is slowly dying with each day that passes without her, making me wonder if there's even a point in trying to be friends with her at all anymore.

I can feel a tiny seed of resentment towards her starting to grow inside of me. She and Beck aren't dating, so why does she care about who he chooses to take to Skybucks? Why is she letting my friendship with him dictate how she treats me?

Speaking of Beck, he and I have been spending more time together as of late. Yesterday, we went shoe shopping to find him a pair of replacement boots after Jade cut the soles out of his old ones. Today, he and I have plans to look at decals for his new car. I can't wait! I'm so glad he's finally moving on with his life. Now, if only a certain grumpy goth could do the same...

I make my way to the last class of the day, which is Sikowitz's acting class. I tense up upon entering the room, knowing that Jade will be here any minute. I spot her taking a seat on the opposite side of the classroom just as the bell rings for class to start.

"Okay class, today we'll be doing everybody's favourite activity, which is," Sikowitz pauses for dramatic effect "Alphabetical Improv!" The class begins to groan, but our teacher ignores it.

"Tori and Jade, take your places on the stage, please. Jade, you start." Almost as if on cue, both Jade and I look at Sikowitz with a horrified expression on our faces, then at each other. Neither of us are particularly happy to be doing this, but we do it for our grades, if nothing else.

"... Aaaaaand action!" Our teacher gives us our cue. Jade scowls at me, her arms crossed, her feet planted firmly on the ground.

"Are you and Beck dating?" She asks. I raise my eyebrows in surprise for a moment. I didn't think she'd bring our personal lives into this.

"Beck and I aren't dating! Not at all!" I reply. Two can play at that game.

"C'mon Vega, you're wasting my time. Just admit that you are." She says, a hint of impatience in her voice.

"Don't be like that!" I plead.

"Every time you open your mouth, I want to punch your stupid face!" She snaps.

"For goodness sake, Jade, why can't we just have a civilized conversation about this?" I reply "I just want to be friends again!"

"Gee, maybe we could be if you'd stop hurting me!"

"Hurting you?! How the heck am I hurting you? Y'know, Jade, I'm getting a little sick of you bashing me for no reason other than the fact that I'm friends with your ex. If there's anyone getting hurt, it's me!" I say, becoming increasingly worked up. I pause for a moment for Sikowitz to tell me to stop, but when I glance over at him, he just casually takes a sip from the coconut in his hands. For some reason, he actually seems invested in the drama that's happening up here on the stage, so I take this chance to keep chewing the goth out. If he and the class want a show, I'll give them a show.

"Here I was, thinking we were finally good friends, and now you're back to hating me again. I can't do this anymore, Jade. Which is it? Do you like me or hate me? I need to know, because I'm starting to think that trying to be your friend is utterly pointless!" I'm practically screaming at this point. The class remains silent, shocked at my outburst. "So, Which is it? Like me, or hate me?"

Jade pauses as if there's something she wants to say to me but can't. Even though her posture and overall expression show me that she wants to kill me, her eyes tell a different story. I freeze for a second in disbelief. I haven't seen this look on her face since the night she came over and held me against my own front door. Underneath all of that aggression is something soft, something slightly afraid, something raw and vulnerable that only the most important people in Jade's life could ever hope to see. Her gaze paralyzes me as she watches me closely.

"Like me? or hate me?" I repeat myself, less franticly this time. I manage to bring my emotions down to a simmer, though there is still plenty of pent-up rage beneath my quietness. I don't care whether or not the phrase I've just said starts with the letter 'H', I'm going to end this little rough patch between Jade and I, and I'm going to end this now. One of the tears I've been fighting so hard to keep back manages to escape.

"I... I- I don't know...," Jade mutters, looking away as she says it. I can tell by the way she shakes her head slightly that those words were not the ones she intended to say. I'm about to say my next line and really give her a piece of my mind, when she walks past me and makes her way back to her seat. She grabs her backpack off her chair and leaves the classroom.

"Jade!" I call out, desperately. She simply ignores me. I sigh in defeat. I should've known she wasn't going to listen to me the minute she stepped off the stage. Class comes to an end, and everyone rushes to their lockers before going home. I rush through the hallways, trying to find the goth. I look pretty much everywhere for her, but there's no sign of her. I go outside to the parking lot, but it seems like her car is gone, which means she must've left right after she walked out of class.

I walk around the parking lot to find Beck's car so we can go look at car decorations. I'm done worrying about Jade. If she wants to be friends with me again, she's gonna have to come ask me herself. I'm done trying to be the nice girl. I'm done having my efforts thrown in the trash. I'm done.

After a minute or two of standing next to his car, Beck finally shows up. We get into his car, and he puts his keys into the ignition.

"You alright?" He asks, knowing shaken up I was after class.

"Sort of. I just need to calm down," I reply. Beck gives me an understanding smile and begins to drive. I stare straight ahead out the front window, taking deep breaths.We stop at a red light, and I suddenly feel Beck take my hand and give it a little squeeze.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," he says, glancing in my direction. I just smile to myself, trying my best to believe him. He holds my hand until the light turns green again. His touch isn't as soft or as warm as Jade's, but it brings me a bit of comfort, and right now, that's something I desperately need.