ocean eyes

itoshi sae.

WHY CAN'T WE
sae itoshi | part two

it was a miracle. who would have thought that the gods heard your prayers? a flow of tears ran down your cheek as your mother comforted you.

"congratulations, my dear. i'm happy for you." your mother whispered in a soothing tone where you felt like home.

but is it really home if it's not him? well, let's make an exception for your mother.

"i survived- i..." your voice cracked as you broke down in tears again.

eventually, you calmed down and requested to go out.

"are you sure, ms? you just got better." the nurse protested but you wanted to go out. especially to see the sunset.

which reminded you of him.

why are you even thinking of him? he's a married man, he has a wife and could be a father in the near future! no need to interfere with his life.

but, it did hurt. you sacrificed your happiness for his.

sometimes you think, is he really happy without you? or could he be happier if he's with you?

you paced out of your thoughts while the sound of the waves calmed you. the beam of the sun hitting your face, your eyes reflecting the ocean which then turned into a blur.

you were crying again.

"y/n..?" not that voice, no. you wanted to see him again, yet let alone you only heard his voice- you already want to disappear.

"it is you!"

you faced sae and was surprised to see him alone lurking around. "sae? what are you doing here? shouldn't you be with your wife?"

he smiled at you when you mentioned his wife. "she's resting at our house. how are you doing? why didn't you attend our wedding?"

you pressed your lips together. a sting in your heart and an ache in your chest. the tears building in your eyes. he couldn't see you at that state.

yet, you couldn't stop it so you only looked down and buried your face on your knees.

"y/n-?!" sae was surprised by your sudden breakdown and tried to comfort you.

"what happened..? did i do something wrong?" the auburn head was lost for words and only placed his hand on your head.

he knew his boundaries so he tried his best to comfort you.

"no, it's not you. i made a mistake- i'm sorry, i have to go." you stood up and wiped your tears, but his hand caught your wrist.

"y/n..."

"please, go back to your wife."

"i'm your best friend! even though we broke up as a couple, doesn't mean you can just throw our friendship like that! rin told me you both still message each other, so why can't we?" he pleaded, tears on the brick of his eyes waiting to be shed.

i shook my head. "you have a wife. i didn't want to die on you!"

sae took a step back when you said those words. "die..? y/n, just be honest with me. those medical papers i saw before we broke up, were those yours?"

"yes. they were mine, i had cancer, but, i survived."

sae was lost for words, the sun was gone and the moon's light was radiating at the both of you. the tears on his eyes didn't stop flowing. "why didn't you tell me? we could have fought it together!"

"sae, it's too late. i made a mistake, but you have a wife now! please, move on."

"why? why are you telling me to move on when i know that you can't? don't hurt yourself!" the older itoshi placed his hands on your shoulders, a look of pleading on his face.

when you didn't reply, he added more to his statement. "you promised me, you wouldn't leave me..."

you removed his hands on your shoulders and muttered, "i'm sorry."

you ran back to the hospital and left sae there wondering what he did wrong. maybe, the universe didn't want you to have your happy ending. with or without cancer, if the two of you aren't destined for each other, then there's no point in trying.

you both met, but aren't destined. your love was strong, but not enough.

ZEI'S CHITCHAT:

sorry for those who expected a happy ending (⁠'⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠'⁠)