I Love You So

Part 43

God.

The creator of all. The person who created eternal love. The person who embodied unconditional love. How? How could that be? How could someone, who is suppose to be the epitome of love, let their children suffer? Amanda reflected back to her time on deployments, watching families get torn apart at the seams, watching her troops and other soldiers die. Watching communities crumble over starvation and famine.

Amanda felt her body become heavy. Not from her exhaustion, but from pure sadness. How could the world be so cruel? What did the world have to offer? What was left? As Amanda swung her machete, her eyes glanced down at her ring.

Rick.

Rick Grimes. Her mind felt more at ease thinking of her loving husband. He embodied unconditional love. He gave eternal love. He was a protector. He was a provider. Feeling a new surge of strength overcome her, Amanda felt her body become lighter. Amanda laughed softly to herself, thinking, 'Who needs God when you're married to Rick Grimes?'

As if on cue, the gate began to open, offering sanctuary to the three wounded individuals.

"Get Ezekiel!" Amanda screamed at Jerry, "I'm gonna lure the hoard away!"

"Amanda, No!" Ezekiel said, "We have to keep moving." He pleaded

"No, you guys have a shot to get away if I lure the herd away!" Amanda said, "And I have a shot if I'm not babysitting you guys!" She joked

"I appreciate your humor, Ms. Amanda. Thank you for giving us a chance." Ezekiel said

Amanda nodded, "Hey! Hey! Hey!" She shouted, waving her hands, grabbing the walkers attention, "Come on! Come on!" She shouted, jogging down the road. She cursed herself, wondering why she volunteered herself to be the sacrificial lamb. She swung at walkers who came down her path, staying on the grass, dodging and weaving between walkers and trees. As Amanda was running, she heard a loud scraping noise. She exhaled deeply, running over, to the noise. But, before she could arrive on scene, a pair of strong hands came, grabbing her. Amanda was thrown to the ground, a loud groan coming from her as she dropped her machete. The man had a balaclava on, covering his face, only revealing his dark brown eyes. The man covered her mouth to quiet her as a few straggler walkers passed by.

Amanda's eyes were wide as she stared up at the man, wondering why he didn't just kill her.

The man climbed off Amanda, watching as the final straggler walked off towards the commotion that came from down the road.
He looked down at Amanda before he slid off his mask, revealing his face.

"Shane?" Amanda asked in disbelief

"Hey, darlin'. Funny running into you here." Shane said, running a hand through his thick dark hair, chuckling softly

"I thought Rick killed you." Amanda said, feeling like she was going crazy

"He tried." Shane said, "He stabbed me and I hit the ground. I laid there, waiting to die. But there were walkers everywhere so he ran." He explained, "I got up and kept moving. I went another direction, took one of the trucks Hersel had by the stables, and I drove to town." Shane said

Amanda couldn't get over the fact Shane was still alive, "No, Rick killed you." She said, in disbelief

"No, he didn't. He tried. But he's too much of a coward." Shane said, "I'm Negan now." He said, standing up, "I was in that building ya'll ambushed. I saw Carol. She's uh.. she's kinda bad ass now." He said, extending his hand for Amanda to take

Amanda gently took his hand, looking up at him, "Are you gonna take me to Negan?" She asked

"I should. Shouldn't I?" Shane chuckled, "I've always had a soft spot for you, Amanda." He said, helping her up, "Come with me." He said, "We can do what we planned on doing. Running away. Just us." Shane said, "The Saviors are goners, and so is Alexandria."

"No." Amanda said, "Shane, no." She repeated, "I'm not.. This isn't real." She said, backing up

"Amanda, please." Shane said, his dark eyes piercing into hers, "Come with me, I can keep you safe." He said, reaching out for her.

"No! No." Amanda said, glancing behind Shane at a walker that was creeping up, "I'm sorry." She said, pushing Shane into the walker.

"Amanda!" Shane shouted, fighting against the walker

Amanda took off running down the road, her heart racing, feeling as if she was going crazy. Shane Walsh? No, no way. Shane was dead. Amanda glanced behind her, hearing Shane's loud footsteps. Amanda ran faster, making her way back into the woods. As she was running, another set of hands grabbed her. Amanda let out a scream, tears running down her face, overwhelmed with exhaustion and confusion.

"Amanda! Amanda! It's me. It's me." Rick said, breathing heavily as he grabbed her, "Are you okay? What happened?" He asked

Amanda could hardly breathe, from crying so hard. She collapsed into Rick's arms, looking over his shoulder, "Shane! I saw Shane!" She cried

Rick glanced behind him, looking at the empty field of trees, "Amanda, there's no one there." He said

"Rick! I saw him!" Amanda cried out, gripping his bicep

"What happened to you?" Rick asked worriedly

"Everyone's dead. Everyone's gone." Amanda gasped out, "Machine gun." She said, her hands trembling, "I took out maybe 50 walkers, with my machete, before I took off running. I was running and someone grabbed me, he threw me down and it was Shane." She said, her voice frantic, "Rick, Shane is alive!"

"I knew I shouldn't have let you go without me." Rick said, concerned that Amanda was finally losing her mind, that exhaustion had caused her to snap.

"No, Rick. He works for Negan!" Amanda pleaded

"Come with me, it's a short run, I'll take you to Alexandria." Rick said, stroking her cheek

"No! You're not listening to me!" Amanda screamed

"I am!" Rick shouted back, "You're talking crazy!" He said, "Baby, I love you, but I don't have time. I have to keep moving. I have to finish this." Rick said, giving Amanda a kiss, "I love you, I'm sorry." He said, jogging down the treeline

Amanda watched Rick, her body overwhelmed with emotions. She sat down on the ground, looking at the sky, wondering if she really was going crazy.

"Boy. Same ole Rick, huh?" Shane asked, appearing from behind a tree, "Come on, Amanda." He said, walking over to her

"No. No." Amanda said

"I gotta take you somewhere safe." Shane said, helping Amanda up. He led her over to his truck, opening the door for her, "I won't take you to Negan. I promise." He said

'The end is near.' Amanda thought to herself. She stared at the roof of the car, wondering was God was. Wondering where Rick was. Hell - where was anyone? She kept her eyes glued to the roof of the truck as Shane drove down the road. The drive was brief, Shane pulling into a small cabin in the woods

"I told you I wouldn't take you to Negan." Shane said, "I wish you trusted me more, Amanda." He said, looking over at her, his dark eyes dull and empty.

Amanda didn't look at Shane. She kept her eyes on the ceiling, swallowing hard - wondering what Shane was going to do with her inside of this isolated cabin.