Ingnited

Regret

*trigger warnings: mentions of suicide attempts and miscarriage*

Miranda woke up to a naked Ben laying on her chest. As the events of last night replayed in her mind she blushed and quickly became embarrassed. They hadn't even talked about there issues or even really spoken. It was evident the same attraction from years ago was still alive but miranda wasn't sure if she could handle it. It caused too many old feelings to arise, many of which weren't good. Before she could dwell further, Ben began to stir from his sleep and rolled off of miranda before drifting back to sleep. Miranda let out a sigh of relief as she began to grab her things and quietly make her way back to her room.

She took a shower and slipped on sweats and a t shirt before ordering her some breakfast.

Ben woke up to the sound of the front door closing and stretched, noticing miranda was gone. He slipped on his boxers and walked around seeing her room door shut and he could hear the sound of a bag being open. He made his way to his room, showered and got dressed for the gym. He left, leaving miranda a message.

Miranda read the message and ate her food. She sighed really letting her current situation sick in. She was living in her ex-lovers home to stay hidden from her ex-husband. She had slept with her ex-lover even though she swore she wouldn't due to their past. Now, she was lost in thought of just how bad they ended.

College:
Ben and Miranda had barely been able to spend time with each other over these past weeks. Between Ben playing basketball and studying for his degree and Miranda balancing her studies and working an internship at a local hospital. This caused distance and tension between the two. Whenever they had some time together it usually lead to an argument due to the growing distance, insecurities that had built, or the lack of communication between them.

Benjamin kept accusing miranda of cheating on him, he knew she wouldn't deep down but he also knew that men had began to pursue her. This caused Ben to question if he was enough for miranda and if the distance between them was more than being busy.

Miranda on the other hand was struggling mentally between school and Ben accusing her of cheating. She never even thought about anyone else. Benjamin was the love of her life, she didnt see her future with anyone else. It hurt her to think that he would believe she would do that. Their constant arguments also made her become more on guard and closed off with him.

Today the two both had the day free. Callie and Mark invited them out to the bar and didnt give them any room to decline. As the night sky took over, Ben and Miranda got ready for the night.

Ben put on a fitted black shirt, black slacks, and black dress shoes. He wore a gold chain, a watch, and some stud earrings to match.

Miranda on the other hand wore a fitted black dress that stopped mid thigh. It had a deep v neck cut that showed off her cleavage and she wore black pumps to match. She curled her hair and slipped on a gold bracelet Ben had got her a year ago.

She walked out their room to find him sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. He was man spread on the couch and she would be lying if she said she wasn't turned on. Her man was fine, she couldnt deny that.

"You ready to go?" he said without even looking up.

Mirandas small smile disappeared before saying a small yes.

He nodded and got up as they made their way to the car. The ride there was silent. As they walked in Ben placed his hand on her back, guiding her to where Mark and Callie sat.

The two couples conversed and drank as the time passed. By the end of the night, both couples left. Ben had two glasses of bourbon while miranda had one.

When they got home, Miranda began taking off her jewelry when Ben sat on the bench in front of their bed before speaking.

" Miranda be honest with me, Are you cheating on me?"

Miranda closed her eyes and took a deep breath before facing him.

"No, I am not. I don't appreciate you accusing me of cheating on you."

"Please, Miranda be honest."

"I am!" she yelled in frustration.

"YOUR NOT, I KNOW YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME! YOU'VE BEEN DISTANT FROM ME, SOMETIMES ITS LIKE YOU CANT EVEN BE AROUND ME-"

"ITS BECAUSE EVERY TIME I AM WITH YOU, YOU ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING ON YOU! Benjamin Warren, I love you with everything in me. But I cannot with this constant battle, I want only you-"

"THEN WHAT ABOUT ISSAC?!"

Miranda rolled her eyes, Issac had been stalking her. He would message her, show up to her job, and had been constantly asking her out. The last time she rejected him, he said she would regret it. What she didnt know was Issac had sent a sexy picture of Miranda to Ben, telling him they had been sleeping together. The picture was from Ben's phone. He and Issac were "friends" since childhood. He took the picture from Bens phone and created a story to tell him. The distance between the two gave Ben room to believe this facade.

"Benjamin how many times do I have to tell you I AM NOT SLEEPING WI-"

"YEAH? WELL THIS SAYS DIFFERENT!" He yelled showing her the "message thread and pictures" between the two.

Miranda stood there shocked and confused. Tears had pooled in her eyes as Ben scoffed.

"I can't believe I thought you were the one for me. Through everything I was always going to be here for you Miranda. To think I bought a fucking ring for you!" He yelled throwing the ring box at the wall.

"You can do whatever you want, because Im done." He said grabbing a suitcase and packing his stuff.

"Ben wait, I swear its not real!" she pleaded trying to stop him.

Nothing could have stopped him from leaving. He had drowned Miranda pleas out and left without another word.

That night Miranda cried so hard and for so long  her head began to pound. As she tried to get up she felt blood trickle down her leg. She panicked as she knew her period shouldn't be on for another week. She called Callie and she rushed over with Mark as they took her to the hospital.

After waiting in the room for what felt like hours, Miranda had learned that she suffered a miscarriage. She was three months pregnant. It now clicked why she was craving random things, bens words hurt more, and why her clothes felt so tight. They released her and told her to relax as much as she could for a couple days.

Callie and Mark stayed in the guest room while Miranda sat in her bed, thinking. She wondered if the miscarriage was her fault, a punishment of sorts. She never communicated with Ben and had been recently distant from him intentionally. She started taking extra shifts and studying anywhere but at home. She couldn't help but fall into depression as the days went on. She struggled to maintain her grades or even take care of herself. If it wasn't for Callie and Mark, she could honestly say she wouldn't be alive today. They saved her mentally and physically. She had her one or two occasions of being found with bleeding from her wrists.

Present:

Miranda wiped the tears that had fallen and the guards that seemed to had fallen down quickly remembered why they were up in the first place. That night single handedly changed Miranda. She was now drowning in regret and hurt.