Lonely Heart

Fearless

It's four days before the school year starts and I'm sitting on Armas' bed. I've spent most days at his house after Susan's wedding. We would talk, watch TV and sometimes attempt to cook together, that always went horribly wrong. Last time we cooked, we ended up burning the mac&cheese, good thing Meredith's tray wasn't ruined, I would of felt terrible.

His room hasn't changed since we were kids. It still has the glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof that Sebastian and I helped him put up. He still has the same portraits on the walls. The same chair. The same teddy bear on his dressing table.

I feel a sense of contentment wash over me, a feeling of happiness and belonging.

"My wildflower", Armas says, standing in front of me.

I look up at him and smile. "My friend", I say.

"You're teasing me", He chuckles, and I raise my eyebrows and smile.

Armas' eyes are bright, smile is wide. I study his face, taking in every detail, from the curve of his cheeks, to his perfectly shaped jawline.

"I should probably go. My parents will be worried", I say still staring at him.

"Stay for a little while longer", He smiles.

"I can't. I've been here whole morning, and I promised my friends I'd hang out with them today", I chuckle.

"When are we going to stop pretending that there is nothing going on between us", He says, as I gather my things together.

"Armas, not now", I say, with a soft tone.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything", He replies, a slight desperation in his voice. "I just… I care about you, Nora, more than you know. And I can't help but feel like something is there, between us". He looks at me, his eyes filled with an intensity that makes my heart skip a beat. "I know we're friends, and I'm so grateful for that. But… I think there could be more, if we just let ourselves feel it".

My heart is racing as I try to process what Armas has just said. He's right - there is something between us, something that's been building over time. But I'm scared to acknowledge it, to let it be real. What if it ruins our friendship? What if it's not what I think it is, and I end up disappointed? I look at Armas, and I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the same vulnerability that I feel in my heart. In that moment, I know that I have to be honest, no matter how much it scares me.

I take a deep breath and gather my courage. "Armas, I think you're right", I say, my voice shaking slightly. "There is something more between us, and I've been afraid to admit it. But I want to be honest with you, and with myself". I look at him, my eyes holding his gaze. "I care about you, too. I've been feeling it for a while, but I didn't know how to say it". I pause, trying to find the right words. "I'm scared that if we let this go further, that I might lose you as a friend".

Armas takes my hand in his, his touch gentle and reassuring. "You could never lose me, Nora", He says, his eyes full of sincerity. "No matter what happens between us, I will always be your friend. I value our friendship more than anything, and I won't let anything change that". He squeezes my hand, and I can feel the truth of his words in his touch. "I just want you to be happy, no matter what that looks like".

I feel the knot in my stomach loosen a little as his words sink in. He's right - our friendship is the most important thing. I feel a sense of relief wash over me, and I let out a deep breath. "Thank you", I say, a small smile forming on my lips. "I feel the same way - I want you to be happy, too. And I don't want to lose you, either". I look at him, a feeling of warmth filling my heart. "Maybe… maybe we can try this? And if it doesn't work, we can always go back to being friends?".