Meeting Jack - Rewritten

Ch.34 - When one door closes...

"I need to do it, Eleanor. Anything to make this back of mine tolerable." Jack proclaims his frustrations from my bed, lying on his stomach with a hot compress on his back again. I, however, am pacing in and out of the room.

"Jack, I would say that I understand because it's understandable wanting to get rid of the pain, but I still will never know what it's like to be in your condition for so long... I just... You're so skinny, Jack. Seems like you're getting frailer by the day, and this is your spine we're talking about! I see why it's come down to this, and I'll support you through anything... I'm just..."

"Scared. I know, rabbit." The sound of his nickname for me makes me stop, my back to him as I stand in the doorway, pulling my glasses off and rubbing over my face. Tears start falling, and it feels like I may pass out as I struggle to breathe. "Come here, please?"

"Jack..."

"Come here, rabbit." My resolve to resist him is waning, and we both know it. Slipping my glasses back into place and looking over my shoulder, he raises an eyebrow at me and motions me over with a nod.

"Fine... but I'm still going to be grumpy about this whole thing." Sitting down on the edge of the bed with my arms crossed, feeling his arm slink around to secure itself on my waist.

"I know, and that's okay. But we both know I need to go through with it..."

Groaning and allowing my head to fall back, trying to blink away the remaining tears, "I know."

"Look at me."

"I'm crying, Jack. I can't."

"Yes, you can. That's exactly why you need to look at me." He starts to move around behind me, getting me to look.

"Jack, don't move around so much; you'll throw it out again!" The smile he gives me tells me he did it on purpose as he moves back onto his stomach and rests on the pillows.

"Then lay with me so I won't have to move!" I have to look away again, fighting the urge to smile at the sight of him. "Hey! I saw that! I win! And I'm hurting; you must lay down with me because it'll make me feel better!" Turning back to him, my head shakes at how he's behaving. It frustrates me that I can't stay frustrated because the fear is still present, but I'm still grateful that he's so good at brightening the mood. He shuffles over, leaving plenty of space for me, patting the space in invitation.

"You're incorrigible." My hands take off my glasses, setting them down on my nightstand.

"And I'm yours!"

"That you are."

Once we're both comfortable, he rests his arm over my stomach, pulling me as close as possible. He turns onto his side to face me suddenly, "Ah! Nothing, don't say a thing about it; this is comfortable too!" After he tosses the towel onto the floor, I turn to face him, and his hand comes up to caress my cheek. "I'm glad you're all better."

"Me too, the make-up didn't work very well." Flashbacks to the skeptical looks I got from my colleagues got old fast; I worried someone would think Jack had done it. "Serious question... When you recover, where will you stay? You won't be able to make it up the stairs, and I can't carry you, especially not in that condition."

"I've considered Hyannis Port..." Our eyes meet, and it's almost like we're both saying things that we're not verbalizing. After several moments of silence, I'm the first to look away. "What else is bothering you?"

"I don't know what to do with myself if I can't take care of you through this... But I've already taken too much time from work; I'll be lucky to get Christmas off. When I try to picture going to work knowing you'll be ridden and in pain... I don't know if I can do it. Maybe that's weak thinking on my behalf..." Staring at the ceiling as my thoughts spill out, my hand searches for him to trace over. The worker in me argues that I'm only making excuses not to move forward. Still, everything else in me can't imagine putting my career over my love for him. Not now, when I've finally gotten him back, and our future together is so close to being secure. "I also can't just leave Violet to cover the full cost of our rent if I were to quit. There are so many steps I'll have to take to make it doable, and it's not that I wouldn't do it for you... It doesn't seem fair to all the things I previously made obligations to, predominantly my work and Violet. Would it be childish to dismiss those things, even if done properly, so I can be with my lover?"