Little Sanchez // USWNT

Chapter 51

"I didn't say that I didn't like him." 

"I know." 

I was confused out of my mind as she started to walk away. She's not wrong at all. 

She's actually 100% correct. I don't like him. 

"You're right, Jules." She tuned to look at me. "I hate him. I hate his guts for not doing shit for the fucking morale of the team, letting us play like dogshit and not holding us accountable, but most of all, I hate him for the shit he's pulling with my sister. I hate him, I really, really hate him." 

"I know, kid." 

"I don't understand what he's doing. I hate him. I hate everything about this tournament, Julie. I know we have more, but I don't know if I can do it." I cracked. 

I'd stayed level headed for too long under this pressure. 

I cracked. 

Julie walked back over to me and pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing me in the way Ash does. 

"Julie, I have to talk to Ash. She's really upset. What do I say?"  I said, not letting go of her. 

"You're on her side no matter what. You tell her that. Let her know that you're there, and you encourage her. If she doesn't play in the next game, it's going to be really, really hard on her. It's going to destroy her confidence. You can't let that happen." 

"Okay." I pulled away and nodded. "Got it." 

"But it's not all on you." 

"Got it." 

We were quiet for a minute and then I decided it was an appropriate time to head for my sister's room. We said out goodbyes before I left. 

"Remember Ainsley." Julie said, making me turn around to face her. "It's not all on you." 

I nodded and thanked her again, then went to Ash's room, walking right past my own door. 

I knocked on the door using the knock we always use with each other so that she knew right away. 

"What, Ainsley?" Ash said, the words muffled and dull. 

"I wanna talk to you." 

"Well I don't wanna talk to you." 

I was silent and so was she. But I didn't leave. 

After a minute that felt like 10, I decided to talk again. 

"Please, Ash?" 

On her end, I heard nothing but muffled sobbing. 

I stayed quiet for a few more seconds before I wanted to talk again. But just as I was about to talk, I got a text from Trinity. 

trina <3: everything ok?
trina <3: ur out for a long time

I shook my head as I turned my phone off and put it back in my pocket. No offense to my girlfriend or anything, but there's something a little bit more important going on. 

"Ashy, I just-" 

"I don't wanna do this right now, Ainsley."

"But I do." 

"It's not always about you!" 

Silence from both of us. 

"Alright, I'm sorry." I said, taking a shaky breath. "I just want you to know that tomorrow's my 19th, and honestly, I don't really wanna celebrate. I think we should do that when we get home." I took another shaky breath. "But I want to spend time with you. The only thing I want for my birthday." 

She didn't say anything, but I didn't leave. I wasn't planning on moving until I heard those sniffles subside. When they didn't, I gave it another try. 

"Ashley please come talk to me." 

Suddenly she opened the door, making me stumble a little bit as I was leaning on the door frame. Her face was mascara streaked, her eyes and nose red. I stepped inside and shut the door. 

"The whole world thinks I suck." She broke down again, falling to the ground and putting her head in her hands. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her and pulling her in. 

"Nobody thinks that, Ash." We sat on the hardwood floor, our backs pressed against the door, her sobbing into my shoulder. 

I knew she had so much more to say but she is hesitant to say it. I understand, but at the same time, I really don't. 

"Yes they do. They do, Ainsley, ans you're America's new 'stargirl' so you wouldn't understand. You're everyone's favorite player right now. Most people don't even remember that I'm here anymore." 

"Okay, and? Absolutely no one thinks you suck. There's fucking thousands upon thousands of Americans able to be chosen for this, and you're one of the 23 that got picked. Ashley, you're one of the best soccer players in the world. If they think you suck, then they can go fuck themselves,  because that could not be farther from the truth." 

"Well Vlatko-" 

"He's a fucking idiot! Fuck him! He's an asshole!" 

She just cried. 

"I'm team Ashley always. It's us, Ash. Juts us. I'll back you up 100% of the time, always. So if that means telling fucking Vlatko off when he inevitably gets fired after this World Cup, I'll do it without hesitation. Hell, I'll do it right now." 

"NO! Do not do that Ainsley." 

"Then I won't do it." 

"Thank you. I can fight my own battles." 

"And I'm always on your side."