First responder, second love

Chapter 22

I'm staring at the ceiling. The morning sun is lighting up the room, and I can hear birds chirping outside. My tears dried up, but my eyes are still burning; my whole body is. I feel disgusting, hurt, and weak. I've been trying to get rid of the images which are printed in my brain right now. Images of his hands on my body, of his lips on my neck. I feel my skin getting cold, the hairs on my skin are standing up, and I feel like throwing up. And all I'm wondering is; why me? Why is it me in this cabin, in this bed tied to the frame? What did I do to deserve this? But will there even be an answer to why a man like him does something like this to a woman, something like this to me. He hurt me in ways I have never been hurt before. I thought I felt enough pain for a lifetime when Ben died, but now I don't know any more. I feel like there is no way of coming back from this, like I'm fine with dying right here in this cabin. But should I be fine with that? I need to find the strength to fight for my own life, fight to escape and return to the people I love. The people I care about, and the people who want me. But right now, I don't know if that includes Buck.

    "It wouldn't hurt to look into it, would it? I mean, I know there isn't solid proof that he took her, but we can at least try something."
    "What were you thinking, sergeant? What do you mean with looking into him?" one of the investigators asks the female sergeant standing next to his desk.
    "We could investigate where he could hide out, if there are people who would help him stay hidden."
    "But why would we? What makes you think that he is the one who got Samantha, Sergeant Grant?"
    "It's not just a gut feeling, there are clear signs that he could have done this. He had to know that she survived the crash, and he was clearly mesmerized by her appearance. I really think we could investigate."
    "I don't know, you have a point, but if we're wrong," the agent starts talking before Athena interrupts him.
    "You have nothing right now, and Sammy is running out of time."
    

"Sire, they found a DNA sample at the scene, and we got a hit," a younger, blond man speaks, while walking into the office. The man as admittedly the full attention, and he hands over a file quickly. The agent, who is standing up now, opens the file and starts reading. After a few seconds, Athena gets impatience, and starts tapping her foot on the floor.
    "I think you were right," the agent says all of a sudden.
    "Why is that?"
    "The DNA, at the scene, is the DNA of George Brown."
    "Where did I hear that name?"
    "He was the ambulance driver who disappeared from the scene," the agent answers.
    "The one who helped the prisoner escape, said by Sammy." The agent starts nodding his head, and takes place behind his desk.
    "So, what are we going to do now?"
    "Now we are going to find out where he would take her, because it's very clear they are working together. And that Samantha is in more danger than we thought."
    "I never doubted that for a second."

It feels like I'm here for days now, and maybe I am. To be honest, I have no idea. Every time he comes in talking to me, kissing me, touching me, I block it all out. I go to a place where I want to be, where I wish I was right now. A place of peace and laughter, a place full of love and joy. In a kitchen cooking with Ben, on the couch watching a movie with Holly a Malia, or at the hospital working next to Alex. Somewhere deep inside, there is a part that wishes I was at the dinner table at the fire station, sitting next to Eddie and across from Buck. Some part of me wants to be under the covers in the big bed with Evan next to me. He would only hold me, and promising me that nothing would ever hurt me, that he would keep me save. Because I know that Ben can't any more, he wouldn't be the one to save me, but he would be the one I would meet again when I'm ready to give up. But I'm I ready, am I ready to give up my life and to let that monster win?

Right when I want to close my eyes, the door slams open. My demon walks into the room and starts untying me. I say nothing and just look away, I don't want to make I contact with him. Too afraid that he would hurt me again.
    "Get up," is all he says. So, I do just that. I'm standing in my dirty underwear, and a ripped shirt. I feel disgusted by myself. My arms and legs ate full of all kinds of bruises and cuts. There are even some bloodstains on my shirt. "It's time for you to disappear," the demon says. Disappear? What the hell does he mean by that? He wouldn't just let me walk away, so he has to mean that it's time for me to die. Die, I have to die, he wants me to die. My time is up, I got nothing left. The other man comes into the room and hands his boss a shovel.
    "We are going to make a walk," my sone to be killer says, and all I can do his shake my head.

A few minutes later, we're walking into the dangers of the night. I feel the dirt on my feet, and hear some branches break on the ground. I'm walking towards my died, and I don't know how to feel. Am I okay with that, am I okay with dying in these woods? Do I want to be killed by a monster, like the man who's walking behind me, with a gun pointing at me? He has a shovel in his left hand, the shovel who probable will dig my grave. I feel my heart beating faster, and tears are starting to flow. I don't want to die, not now, not for a long time. I'm just not ready.
    "Stop," the monster suddenly says. So, I stop. "Start digging," he says, before he throws the shovel in front of me.
    "We love you, Sammy, and we're worried about you."
    "We want you to be okay, but you're not, and that's okay. We're here for you." I hear the voices of Holly and Malia in my head. Telling me that they're worried about me, and want to help. When Ben died, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had no idea how to handle all the feeling I had. Sometimes I cried for days, and other days I buried myself in my studies, and work. But during all those days, my two best friends never left my side. They cried with me on the couch, or in bed under the covers. They baked all kind of crap I wanted to try, and they never let go of me. So, why would I let go off myself. Why would I give up my life, and just start digging my own grave. I couldn't give up, not ever.

Right at that moment we hear something in the woods.
    "What the hell was that?" I hear the killer behind me ask at loud. This is my chance.
    "Sorry, Ben, but I'm not ready to yet." I put both of my hands firmly around the shovel and take a big swing with all the strength I've got.