Tom Hiddleston One Shots/Imagines

#61 - Happy Fathers Day, Dad.

You couldn't pull yourself to get out of the car just yet, the sight ahead one you hadn't seen in a long time. You felt a hand squeeze your own, your husbands slight smile the only thing pushing you forward at that moment.

"You can do it, Sweet Girl. I'll be right here."

It was silent around you, the sound of your shoes crunching against leaves finally filling the gap in sounds, your heart thumping so loudly it hurt. You could practically feel the blood rushing around your head as you got closer and closer to the front gate. You hesitated - naturally - as your stepped through the opening, your mind unclear but your feet knowing the route to take you on.

It hadn't been too long since you'd seen him, granted. But each time you came here a whole new wave of emotions hit you. Images of the old house came to mind, playing outside whilst he'd fight off the stick insects that jumped near you or the times he'd come home from a long day and just cuddle you into him on the sofa; the presents from abroad after he'd been away for so long. Or even later, when he'd hold your crying, shaking body after break-ups, times he'd sneak you a whiskey so your mother wouldn't see or take you to museums.

You missed him so much.

It's hard to realise how much someone like that has an impact on you until they're gone. So when you finally arrived at the grave with your fathers name on, it broke you. You'd always been a daddy's girl and everyone around you knew it, you dad being your anchor until recently and he would've done anything to protect you.

The black marble looked relatively cleaned showing you that your brother had been here yesterday, leaving flowers and a tennis ball in front as you re-arranged them and put down the small teddy with a shirt that read '#1 DAD' you'd bought with you. You smiled inwardly at the thought your brother had stopped off here before going on his own travels with his wife and children - you mentally reminded yourself to text him later and check on him. You'd made it a thing that on your dads birthday, on Christmas and now his one year anniversary of his death you'd light a candle - just like you always had with mum - in a sort of joint memory type ritual. It was something your dad had started when your mum had died, and you clung onto that tradition with both hands.

Anything to make him feel closer.

You glanced away for a second to keep the lump in your throat from growing, making eye contact with your husband as he gave his classic smile and those crystal blue eyes stared back at you.

Your husband had been so supportive, so caring... You just didn't want him to see you like this. He'd stayed by the car, hands in pockets like promised as he left you to breathe for a moment on you own. You'd planned to stop off here before you'd both head off to his fathers house for a day filled with love, laughter and a lot of alcohol like always - in some sick, twisted way you envied him for still having his dad.

But right now you didn't care for all that, you just wanted your Daddy back. Sniffing inwards, clearing your throat and taking a few deep breaths was what it took to mildly compose yourself to talk to him - your hands unknowingly fiddling with the grass below you as you knelt right in front of him. You'd worn your best dress just to look presentable, your makeup minimal as some part of you knew this wouldn't stay calm.

You just wanted him to be proud.

"Hey Dad, long time no see ay. I'm sorry it's been a few weeks, works been hectic. I hope you're alright, keeping mum safe up there - you too really were inseparable. I have a surprise, I'm finally pregnant! My first child and you're not here to see them grow up... I wish you could see me now, a year on and it's gotten no easier. They'll hear all about you I promise, their grandad's stories will be embedded in their mind even if you're not here. Why can't you come back Dad, I need you so much. I need to hear your voice one last time - hear you shout at me for my untidy room, or ground me for 'borrowing' your car again. Hear your terrible singing voice as you danced with mum around the room. I want story times, and our father-daughter Wednesdays. I-I want to hear you lecture me on Shakespeare and your love for mythology. To see those stupid jumpers you used to wear on again, and just cuddle me like you used too - those bear hugs that would make everything better. Make this better Dad, please. I love you so much. I wish it was all a dream; I want to wake up now Daddy. Y-you can't still be gone, you just ca-a-an't."

Letting the sobs overtake you, your head fell forward onto the top of his plaque and you clutched your hair in hurt of the loss as tears fell from your eyes and onto the grass below - the black tint the only thing distinguishing them from the morning due droplets. You clung onto his grave as if it would magically become him and he'd wrap you up in his hold. Your head ached, your heart broke in two and you wanted to just collapse there and then. It had been a whole year since he'd officially gone, and you didn't want to believe it anymore. One last look at the letters confirmed it wasn't a dream, this was real. And the pain was too much.

Thomas William Hiddleston
Born: February 9 1981.
Died: September 21 2054 - aged 73.
Loving father, grandad and husband.
The last perfect gentleman.
May he rest in peace.

Silence followed as you slowly knelt back up, the whistling of the trees and bees buzzing forgotten along with the mascara drizzling, fanning out from your eyes like webs. Your husband remained further back twitching to come and hold you, to comfort you as much as he could but he knew what time with your dad had meant to you - how even time with his grave made you more relaxed inside. You never wanted to leave, and vowed you'd be back very soon. So before turning away and heading back to reality, you mildly composed yourself again, running your fingers across the gold lettering, kissing your hand before placing it back on the black marble.

"Happy Father's Day, Dad."

--------------------

A/N - It's near end of the road, my friends. These one shots aren't gaining as much interest as they used too, and I feel maybe it's due to me dragging them on for too long. I'll update still - but it won't be a frequent thing, merely the rare idea that pops into mind. Thank you all for reading, I hope you stick around for the odd ones that may follow.

I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I did. I love you all.

Stay perfect. 🐼