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His Untold Truth - Detailed Feedback

He's better than like every other male lead in this kidnapping genre because he's a bad guy, but it's more subtle. He actually does nice things for her and is a more realistic toxic person. Most toxic people do just enough nice things to keep their victims hooked, and that's what Taehyung does. He's manipulative and uses her emotions for his gain, but she doesn't realize it because, well, he's giving her what she wants: him. Hope is one of the strongest human emotions, and Tae keeps giving to her to keep her stringed along and hooked on him.

I can go on and on about how his toxicity is portrayed and how he does it in such a smart, subtle way, but I don't want this section to only be about Taehyung and Jimin, so I will leave it at this: Taehyung is an engaging character because of the way his toxicity is shown to us in smaller ways instead of larger ways. He isn't the angry male lead who yells 24/7; he's smart, calculated, and manipulative, which is super unique and more realistic.

In general, the plot is very interesting, and I think you chose all the right chess pieces for this. By that I mean, I think it was a good decision to have her be a police officer's daughter and the best friend of another officer who her father considers one of the best. I hate to bring up Jimin again since I don't want to appear too biased, but the amount of emotional potential here is incredible. Jimin is considered one of the best officers, so imagine the guilt he may feel knowing his best didn't save the woman he's in love with. Imagine the potential conflict between him and her father and how many tense fights that can lead to. There is so much potential here that I'm super excited to see more of it.

Millie is interesting so far. I feel bad for her since she's walking into a red flag without noticing it, and the dramatic irony of her being able to spot red flags in books but not the one right in front of her makes for an intriguing read. It's almost like a cat and mouse game between her and Taehyung, only she doesn't realize she's the mouse.

Overall, the story has many moments of intrigue that kept me engaged. Though there aren't many chapters out yet, I think it has strong potential to absolutely crush our hearts and create tension between the characters that will keep us on the edges of our seats.

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What Didn't Work:

I would recommend not having as much exposition in the first chapter. Most of the first chapter is expository descriptions to tell us all about Millie, her father, and her relationship with Jimin. While some of it is needed, I would recommend downsizing and getting to the scene a bit faster. I say this because we started with an exciting, mysterious scene, then the pacing abruptly stops and goes to 15 paragraphs worth of exposition compared to about 12 paragraphs worth of scene. So there's more exposition than story in the first chapter. I hope when I break it down like that, it makes sense why the exposition was a bit much, especially for a first chapter.

I always recommend authors limit exposition as much as possible in a first chapter because the first chapter is meant to be the hook, and too much info can deter a reader from the story. I'd recommend spacing it out more and maybe putting us in the scene while giving exposition. Let me explain.

The exposition section is just exposition; there's nothing happening around it. Maybe instead, have Millie be in the cafe waiting and you can jump back and forth between scene and exposition, that way you're doing two things at once: moving the plot forward and giving necessary info. Maybe Millie orders a coffee while thinking about when Jimin is going to get there, but she knows he may not show because of his police life, then you can transition by saying it's just like her dad's, then you can give brief intel about her dad. That can make a natural flow between the scene and the exposition, and all of it feels like it matters because it relates to the scene Millie is in.