When Red and Blue make Purple

Ahalya's POV

A few minutes after Ahalya left, Shankar decided to go to bed as well. Her room door was partially shut. When Ahalya realized that Shankar was walking towards the other room she quickly shut her eyes pretending to be asleep. She waited for the sound of his footsteps to disappear to open her eyes. She was not sleepy so her mind drifted to the day she had met Shankar for the very first time.

She was still a teenager then. Ahalya had grown up in the village. Except for a couple of trips per year, to the town, she hadn't left the village. Shankar was the first boy she had met, who was from out of town. Mukundan was her Anna so he didn't count. She felt butterflies in her stomach when she first laid her eyes on him. He was a well groomed, handsome young man. He had the sweetest smile with the cutest dimple on one cheek. She liked that he was shy and quiet, unlike the other boys in the village and everytime their eyes met, she felt an unexplainable flutter. She was surprised to know that he had never visited a village. She was instantly drawn to him. Until Ahalya met Shankar, she had never experienced this feeling and it felt good. She loved the attention he gave her. Not that she wasn't getting enough attention but the way he looked at her was different. To add on to it all, he listened to her genuinely. His eyes were completely focused on her when she spoke. She saw him involuntarily replicating her facial expressions and her heart felt warm. Those four days were the most memorable ones for her but, alas, the festivals were over and they had to leave. She could not even say goodbye because she had her periods but her eyes were looking for him and she saw that he was searching for her as well. She remembered having strained her neck to watch them turn around the corner and disappear. That very moment, she started missing him. She thought he would write to her.

When the first mail from Radhika arrived, after reaching Madras, she thought there would be a mention of him but alas there was nothing. She thought of asking about him in her reply but how could she? What if they misunderstood her? May be if she does not mention him, he will wonder why and write to her. Unfortunately, no such thing happened. Days went but Ahalya never failed to think about him. She wrote to Radhika as soon as her results came but nothing from him for her victory. Ahalya slowly told her heart that he probably saw her as just a little girl. May be he did not feel anything for her.

With some of the other kids from the village Chaami mama let her go to CBE for her predegree. He took her there and enrolled her there. The plan was for her to finish predegree and complete her BA. She wanted to be a history teacher. She promised to come back to the village after B. Ed to teach in the village. Unfortunately, mam proposes and God disposes and Ahalya had to go back home after her pre degree. When Shankar did not accompany Mukundan when Lakshmi mami passed away, Ahalya assumed that Shankar probably had no feelings for her.

She had tried very hard to forget about Shankar until Mukundan's father and mother visited them to invite them for Radhu's wedding. The noticed Chaami mama's condition and insisted that they pack their bags and return with them. By this time, Ahalya was praying to not see Shankar because she knew that one glance would bring back all those feelings. She tried to convince herself saying he was probably married by now and might even have a child or that he might not even remember her. Yet when she saw him again, all those memories and feelings flooded back. He was more handsome now but was still the sweetest guy she had met, with the kindest heart. She tried to talk to him normally by today.....

Today was different. When his hands touched her waist why was she longing for more? It is wrong for an unmarried girl to feel that way for an unmarried man but she couldn't help it. The yearning she felt when their eyes locked was indeed pure. She saw it in his eyes too but why is something that is wrong feel so right? She had been taught, growing up, that she should save her feelings for the man she marries but why does she feel like he is the one?  What if.... What if....all this is just her imagination? No she could never bring shame to her thaatha.

Ahalya was very confused in her head but with complete clarity in her heart. It was a terrible battle between the mind and the heart. Who will eventually win?

Brinda Subramanian