Screw Ups (Jake x Johnnie)

Helping

A/N guys please go check out my new fic, i loveee the movie IT and even if u dont know the characters its still cute!

TW: mental illness and medication

JOHNNIE POV:

I woke up not feeling great. Although everything that happened yesterday was amazing, i still woke up feeling kind of depressed. I wanted to get out of bed to go see Jake, but i couldn't push myself to even sit up. My phone was laying on my bed thankfully, so i grabbed it to text him.

Johnnie> good morning <3

Within 10 seconds he replied. I love that he always replies so fast.

Jake> MORNING💗

I know its just a text, but i could tell hes happy. I dont want to ruin that with my problems. Im kind of mad at myself that i always felt like shit, always dragging Jake down with me.

JAKE POV:

I woke up in an good mood, but really just wanted to stay home with Johnnie today. I had already gone to 7/11 and eaten by the time Johnnie woke up, which was around 10 or so

When he finally texted me telling me he was awake, i lit up, reminded of yesterday. I really hope Johnnie thought we would be good at actual boyfriends, although weve only really been together for a day, i hope it becomes official soon.

By 11, Johnnie still hadnt gotten out of his room, but i figured he was probably editing or recording something. Then again, he hadnt eaten since last night, so i began to worry a bit.

Johnnie used to have some problems eating, but he's definitely getting better. I dont think he's hurt himself since the whole video incident, which would be about 2 weeks now, so im really proud of him.

By 12, i really started to worry. I felt sort of bad checking on him, i didnt want him to feel like i dont trust him to be alone, because maybe he just wasnt in the mood to hang out today. Still, I had to.

"Johnnie?" i knocked on his bedroom door.

"Yeah.." He answered quietly, as if he didnt really want to be speaking right now.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah i just feel kinda shitty sorry"

"Can i come in"

"mhm" is all he said.

I opened the door slowly, peeking in to see what he was doing. He was just laying in bed, head in his pillow and hair a mess. I know what this is, just what Johnnie calls a 'bad day', which really means he feels extremely depressed but wont talk to anyone about it. I always try to help him through these days, but im just so worried im being too pushy or making him feel babied.

"Everything alright babe?" i ask gently, walking over to his bed.

JOHNNIE POV:

Im so glad Jake finally came in. I didnt mean to worry him but i also didnt want to bother him by asking for help.

"Yeah im okay, just tired i guess" im obviously lying. In reality i feel like my chest is getting crushed and im absolutely disgusted by myself.

"Come on Johnnie, just talk to me" Jake sits down at the foot of my bed. He cares so much, i don't deserve him. I dont know how such an amazing guy like him could want someone like me sometimes.

"Sorry.. i dont know im just like.. you know" I know he knows. This happens alot more than i wish it would, but Jake always seemed to know how to help me

"Yeah, i know" Jake sighed. "Do you want to try to get up?"

"I cant" Its sort of hard to understand, but on days like this, just getting up seemed fucking impossible. I wanted to, I dont like sitting here all day, not showering, brushing my teeth, or eating, but i just cant bring myself to.

"Do you need anything" I shook my head 'no'. Jake sat closer to me, putting a hand on my shoulder as he looked down at me lovingly.

"Im gonna go get your meds okay?"

"thank you.." i hated feeling like i needed someone to survive, but when its Jake, i dont mind it as much. He comes back within a minute, with a glass of water and two pills. I manage to pull myself into a sitting position so i can drink the water.

"Thanks" i repeat, after swallowing both. I stay silent for another few seconds, trying to force a sentence out.

"Sorry Jake" is all i could muster.

"Hey, no dont be sorry, its not your fault"

JAKE POV:

Now both Johnnie and I sat on his messy bed, our backs to the wall amd his knees hugged to his chest. I was really trying my hardest to help him right now, but i just couldnt seen to find the right things to say.
I didnt want to push him too far, but i wanted to try my hardest. After about a minute, I asked again.

"Is there anything you wanna talk about? doesnt have to be about like this, just anything?" too pushy.

"Um.. i guess so" Johnnie turned his head away from mine, staring off to the other side of the room.

"Go ahead"

"I just.. i guess i feel bad that im like.." hes clearly struggling to tell me, but im proud hes trying. I nod my head at him, signaling to keep going

"I feel like i.. i dont give as much as you do."

"What! Johnnie that isnt true stop!" He doesnt even know how much he does for me? This guy is literally the highlight of my day, a reason to wake up.

"you dont have to say that.. im always making you take care of me but i-i never like-"

"Johnnie you do. You help me so much, just being around you makes me feel better. And i like taking care of you, seriously." I grab his hand gently, making him look at me.

JOHNNIE POV:

Dude.

Jake is the actual best thing to ever happen to me, he needs to know that. I cant do anything but tear at his reply, lowering my head to rest against his chest. When im with him, like doesnt seem so bad. Jake wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back while i continue to sob into his chest.

I pull my head up to speak again, "Thank you Jake."

"Of course" He smiles at me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

a/n- kinda trash so sorry, also mb i havent posted in days sorry abt that
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