the secret game // uswnt

Chapter 6

Raelynn

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"What the..." I yawned as I pushed myself up on my forearms and blinked away the blurriness that had settled over my eyes. 

My long blonde hair fell in front of my face and my head was pounding. I stared down at the unfamiliar sheets and my bare arms before signing and letting myself drop onto the bed again. 

I felt like I was going to vomit as I squeezed my eyes shut, realizing that I was at camp, in a new hotel. My body was sore, presumably from the game I played yesterday. 

I heard someone move next to me, and I groaned, afraid of what my memory would serve me with when it was no longer foggy. 

"You awake?" The person asked quietly. 

Then I came to my senses. 

I opened my eyes to see my face in such close proximity to someone else's, someone who I spent the last 4 days avoiding, and she spent those days avoiding me as well. I was ignoring the rising feeling of having to throw up as I just stared at her completely dumbfounded. 

"What the hell?" She groaned as she rubbed her forehead. "How much did I fucking drink?" 

"How much did I drink?" I mumbled, unable to fathom a circumstance where I'd end up in a bed with my ex, the one who hurt me and basically ruined my entire life.

At least this'll be good to write in song form. 

"Why do I keep coming back to you?" I whispered. "We have to stop doing this. We need to be done for good. Over."

"We'll stop." She matched my whisper, tucking some of my lose blonde hair behind my ear and resting her hand on my cheek.

"We both have to move on. It's been a year, Emily." 

"I know, Rae. But-" 

"I'm sorry." I put my hand on hers, which was still on my cheek. 

We just sat in a comfortable silence for a little while. 

I knew I should be mad. I should be mad at Sav for letting me leave with her, I should be mad at her for making her way back into my life, but most of all I should be mad at myself for being so stupid, regardless of how drunk I was. 

Her hand was soft and familiar. It felt like all the times I'd held it, sitting in her apartment, or as I dragged her between bars in Nashville to listen to music, or as she kissed me in the bathroom after I played at the bars. I longed for something like that again. 

But not with her. 

With her, we had to keep everything a secret, for both of our sake. I don't want that again. My life is nothing but secrets that only Sav and Lexi know. 

And in theory, Emily knows them all too, as she WAS one of them herself. 

"I gotta go." I said suddenly, pushing myself up onto my forearms, my head still spinning like crazy. 

I'd let thoughts of what Sav would have to say cross my mind. But worse than that, I let Korbin cross my mind. I know I have a thing for her, but she probably doesn't feel the same way. I'm just the person she's closest to at camp. 

But part of me had a feeling that maybe she did feel slightly the same way.

I had to get out of here. I didn't want to be here another second. 

When I realized Emily didn't say anything, I repeated myself, this time with a sigh and letting my head droop down, my hair falling in my face, as if I needed to convince myself that it was time to go.