the secret game // uswnt

Chapter 4

Raelynn

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Most, if not all, of the girls were already in the conference room when we walked in.

Emma Hayes walked in right at 12:00, right on time, not a minute early, not a minute late.

Sonnett was the one that walked in a minute late. In the middle of the stressful silence Hayes had put us in.

"I made it! I'm here!" Sonnett said as she came running in. "Oh. Hello, Coach Hayes."

"Glad you decided to join us. Take a seat."

Sonnett did as she was told as I looked down at my intensely shaking hands and my bouncing knee. Sav put her hand on my knee to stop it, but that only made me fidget with my hands.

Hayes talked about our expectations, responsibilities, and rules that she inforced so hard that I was certain none of us would break them. She was holding us to a high standard, a crazy, nuts, high standard, but I'm absolutely ready. I've been waiting my whole life for this.

Today was simple. Korbin, Jenna and I got our head shots done, they ran some health tests on everybody, and then we were free to to whatever we wanted for the rest of the evening.

"So I was thinking we could go out to dinner and then everyone could come back to my room and we could just hang out. I think that would be fun, right?" Sav said as we walked back to our rooms.

"Who is 'everyone?'" I asked, terrified at what she might say.

"Us, Trinity, Ashley, Sophia, Thompson, and whoever you wanted to invite, like Korbin."

"SHE won't be there, right?"

"I can't promise that, I mean, it's her room too."

"As long as I don't get stuck near her I should be fine."

"You know." She stopped walking, and her expression suddenly got serious. "You can't act like anything is wrong if you don't want to tell anybody."

"It was a whole year of my life, and it feels stupid to keep it a secret but at the same time...I want to let go of it, not have to start thinking about it again. But I'll just put on my big girl palnts because I have to." I sighed and started walking to my room.

"Rae, stop."

I turned to face her before I opened my door.

"I know it hurts still, Rae. It sucks and I wish it didn't but it does and I hate seeing you so unhappy when you think about her, and I'm still so sorry it even happened." She said, her voice getting quieter with every word.

"It just sucks because it's a year of my life I'll never get back and another year of having to pick up the pieces of myself and being unable to hold onto a stable relationship."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"I understand why you're afraid."

"Some combination of you and her got me through some tough shit, and now I can't bring myself to rely on anyone but you." I said. "I trust no one."

"You've always got me." She pulled me into a hug.

"I can do it for the night. And I can do it for the rest of camp, because it's not worth being upset over anymore. I'm not ruining my chance at being on this team with this. Emma Hayes is very strict."

Sav laughed and squeezed my hand before moving towards her room.

"I'll let you know where we decide, 'kay?" She said, unlocking her door.