Killer Comedy [PARODY] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK]

04- You're a Terrible Guy

Recap: Jeff kept making fun of your makeup and calling you fat for wanting to eat Nutella. Whatever... Nutella is all the sugar you will ever need in your life. And when really necessary, just lace it with poison and give it to Jeff.

~Y~

Later in the day, you decided to take a walk in the woods. Jeff said the fresh air would help get the crazy out of your mind.

You put on your boots and jacket and casually walked over to the front door.

"It's not that cold outside," Jeff mumbled, leaning against the door frame.

"Oh, shut up," you demanded, pushing him out of the way. You heard footsteps behind you and turned around.

"What? I'm going too," Jeff said.

"Can you not?" you asked, "I'd rather be alone."

He stared at you and smirked. "You're a loner, aren't you?" he asked.

You swelled with rage and said, "No, of course not! I have... a friend."

"A friend?" he asked, "You only have one friend?"

"You don't have any!" you shouted and crossed your arms. You looked up at him and saw that he was thinking.

"Yeah, but back when I actually socialized, I had more than you."

You rolled your eyes, happy that you won the argument, and started to walk out the door. Jeff stepped out too and closed the door before he ran to catch up to you.

"Why are you walking so fast?" he asked.

You sighed, "Because I'm trying to get away from you."

"Come on," he muttered, "What's not to like about me?"

You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at him. "You're a murderer. There is nothing to like about you," you announced.

"You're so heartless, you know that?" he asked.

You turned in the opposite direction and started walking. Luckily, you were heading towards the woods.

"(y/n)! Wait for me!" Jeff shouted.

You started to walk faster, and your walk turned into a run. You ran in between broken trees and leaped over roots and fallen branches. You stopped when you heard a couple sticks break ahead of you.

"Hello?" you asked, "Jeff, is that you?"

You heard male laughter from behind you, and when you turned around, you saw the most hideous creature you had ever seen.

He had a black and white striped cone over his nose and his hair was ratchet, not to mention his outfit that was so not on-point. He just kept smiling at you and laughing.

You stated, "Listen bud, if this is your way of picking up girls, then you need to change a thing or two-"

"Where did you even get that from?" he asked, "Do I look like someone that wants to hit on things like you?" His smile disappeared and he crossed his unusually long arms.

"Oh, so you're a pedo then. I gotcha... But, you couldn't get near girls even if you wanted to looking like that!" you declared, "And hey! You're wearing more makeup than me!"

"I don't do that!" the boy shouted, "I kill people! Oh, by the way... You want some candy?"

Disregarding what he said, you shouted, "JEFF! I FOUND SOMEONE THAT WEARS MORE MAKEUP THAN ME, SO SUCK IT!" You then started to walk away from the small clearing in the direction of your house.

"Hello?" the boy asked, "Am I even here?" He started to pull some candy out from his bag and said, "Candy is half-off today!"

You started running down the path and eventually you got lost. It was actually kind of scary.

"J-Jeff? Are you there?" you called out. You hoped that he was nearby. You just needed some comfort in desperate situations like this.

You heard some branches snap from behind you and you screamed.

"Relax! It's just me!"

Jeff came out from behind a tree and sighed.

"Jeff, you idiot! You're such a jerk!" you yelled. You slapped him and started to cry. "You left me alone in the woods to die!" you whined.

"Oh my God, calm down! You're the one that ran away from me!" he announced, "And you are so going to pay for slapping me like that..." He grabbed your arm.

"W-Where are we going?" you sobbed.

"Home," Jeff muttered as he dragged you in the direction of your house, "so could you please stop whining?"

You whimpered and wiped some tears away from your eyes.

"You're a terrible guy..." you muttered.

"What?" He stopped and looked down at you. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Girls hate guys like you," you said, "Girls like guys that can make them laugh and smile!"

"Well... The only way I could make you laugh is by hurting you..." he sighed.

"Wait... What?" you questioned.

"Yeah, I mean it's not that hard to make someone start crying hysterically. It's just a matter of where you cut them and how long they can stay alive."

"You... are a psycho..." you muttered as you lowered your widened eyes.

"Oh, but I can definitely make you smile!" he said cheerfully.

You looked up at him with a disgusted look and debated whether or not you should ask how.

"I just need a knife and some anesthetic..."

"You're insane," you mumbled.