Killer Comedy [PARODY] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK]

03- Stay Beautiful

Recap: Jeff showed up at your house again at the wrong time. He called you an ugly bitch, which hurt your feelings, so you cried. Then he almost saw you naked, but luckily, you scared him off... Or maybe that's not a good thing.

~Y~

You yawned your way awake. It was a rainy, foggy, depressing day.

You went through your morning routine as always- shower, makeup, etc... The only thing different was that you-know-who was there.

"What are you even doing?" Jeff asked, obviously bored out of his mind.

"Can you go away while I'm doing my makeup?" you nagged, narrowing your eyes over at him.

"'Makeup'? I've seen clowns that wear less of that stuff than you." he declared as he laughed. Then he added, "You look like a native American getting ready for war."

"Shut the hell up, Jeff! No one likes you!" you yelled.

"Oh, I beg the contrary," he said sarcastically, grabbing your cell phone from the counter. You watched in anger as he went on google images and searched 'jeff the killer hot'. He held up the screen right in front of your face. "I have thousands of girls at my fingertips that would die of a fangirl heart attack if I showed up in their house," he bragged, "No... They would even die if they found out I was in their country."

You thought for a moment of how he was pissing you off. You had to come up with a good comeback. You crossed your arms and looked away from the screen, leaning back on the counter. "Why? 'Cause you would murder them all? That's funny," you paused for a moment. "It's funny because all you do is abuse girls and torture them. You don't even have the guts to kill anyone."

Then Jeff pulled out his handy-dandy knife.

"You wanna bet, hun?" he asked.

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT I SWEAR!" you screamed, covering your face with your arms to avoid his laughs.

"O-m-g, you are so fucking hilarious," he said, wiping a tear from his eye. He continued laughing for a couple seconds.

"Why... are you so mean to me?" you asked on the verge of tears.

Suddenly, Jeff stopped laughing and looked straight at you. His gaze intercepted yours and you felt like it penetrated into your skull. It was broken when he started to laugh again.

"Your 'makeup' is uh... drooling," he chuckled.

You turned back around to the mirror angrily and wiped it all off, frustrated that you would have to start all over again. Just as you raised the mascara up to your face, Jeff poked your back, making you jump and push the tip into your eye.

"FUCK!" you yelled, grabbing at your eye. "Why the hell did you do that?!" you asked, turning to face him.

"'Cause you're easy to scare," he said, "Sorry about your eye..." He sounded slightly more sincere.

You shook your head, pulling eye drops out of the cabinet. You started to lift it up to your face, but you were having trouble getting it to go into your eye. It kept hitting your eye lashes.

"Here," Jeff said, taking the bottle from your hands. He raised it above your eye and surprisingly, the drop went in this time.

"You're welcome," he said, placing the bottle in the cabinet.

"Whatever..." you mumbled. "It's still your fault that I had to use them in the first place. Now I wasted them," you bickered. You then took your makeup and shoved it back under the counter.

"Oh, good. I was scared to see what you would have looked like if you kept putting that on," Jeff confessed, "You look so different that way."

You growled slightly and replied with, "You don't look anything like how you do in those pictures you showed me." You smiled and gave him a sarcastic look.

"Hey!" he yelped, "At least I go all 'na-tu-ral.' I don't scare people away like you do."

You started to laugh. "What?! You don't scare people away, huh? Take a look in the mirror!" you demanded, "You carved a fucking smile on your face!"

You could see through his hideous smile that he was frowning. It was obvious that this was a serious subject.

"You didn't have to go there..." he said quietly.

"Hm? What's a matter, Jeff?" you asked sarcastically, "Know how I feel now?"

Jeff rolled his eyes, over his phase of depression, and poked you in the cheek.

"W-What was that for?!" you cried, leaning back.

He smiled at you. "Stay beautiful," he said. Then, he left the bathroom.

"Wha... What the hell?!" you called out. You looked at yourself in the mirror, embarrassed that you started blushing as soon as he said that.

"Well... Not as beautiful as me, but you come pretty close," he yelled from a far distance down the hallway.

The confusion swept over you once again.

"Wow. Nice way to give a complement," you said in your authentic, sarcastic tune. You closed the door, signaling an end to the conversation. You stood in the bathroom for ten minutes, purposefully avoiding Jeff. For all you knew, he could be waiting outside the door.

"Ugh," you grunted as you opened the door in a sloth-like manner. Seeing no Jeff and hearing utter peace in the hallway, you deemed it safe to walk through. You slid down the stairs and into the kitchen, hungry as a bitch on her period.

Jeff stood blocking the doorway.

"Let me through," you demanded at him.

He chuckled. "Oh, so now you're hungry?" he jokingly teased, "You ate a shit ton of makeup already."

"Shut the fuck up," you demanded as you pushed his arm out of the way and marched over to the fridge.

Jeff rolled his eyes and sat down at the table, overwhelmed with boredom. He noticed you pulling out a bunch of food and placing it all on the counter.

"That's a lot of food," he determined, "Are you on your period or something?"

You shot him an agitated look. "That is not the type of thing you ask people," you declared, slamming down the package of frozen pizza on the counter.

"Woah... Um... I'll take that as a yes," he muttered.

You immediately took the Nutella jar and threw it at him. You then ran over to get it, since you were planning on it being the main part of your nutritional breakfast.

"You're going to get so fat," he said, eyeing you up and down.

"That... is... IT," you yelled.

"Haha. I know the truth hurts. It'll all work out in the end, though. Don't worry," he smiled at you.

"You are just- like-" you couldn't find the words to describe how annoying he was.

"Okay. I'll stop now," he said, "Only if I can have half the Nutella."

You win some, you loose some.