15. Amber

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"Amber, Bibi! You won't believe that! Max just indirectly confessed to Bea that she likes her! Or was it the other way around? I have no idea, but they said it, both of them!!!"

"Yes! Let's fucking gooooooooo!"

"Not so loud Abs, otherwise you'll really be heard through the speakers."

"Sorry Ed," I'm just so excited! So happy! This is a milestone! This is the result of hard, mind-numbing work! This is so sweet! I want to be there now and be able to hear what they're saying!" "How are you, Bibi? Is everything OK?" I ask instead.

I get one buzzing in response. So, everything is OK! Bibi is having fun too and finally doesn't have time to mourn Crow. That should make me happier too, but strangely enough my mood balloon is contracting a bit again.

Why actually? Colette keeps an eye on the lightning and the bee while also being able to spend time with her boyfriend. Things are going well for the two girls and even Bibi is having fun. They are all part of the dancing and laughing and cheering crowd below me. Everyone is there, everyone is in front of me. At parties, at performances, even at presentations in class. It is always the same. They are there and I am standing here. The DJ behind the mixing desk, the solo artist on stage, the speaker in front of the blackboard.

I take care of the show! I host the show! With the craziest beats, the most spectacular tricks, and the most confident presentation. I keep the show going!

...But am I also part of this show myself?

At least it doesn't always feel that way.

"Amber? Amber!" someone is calling near me.

Yikes!

The song is almost over! Col reported that it's going great, so it's time to take it up a notch!

I spread my fingers resolutely and focused all my concentration on the mixer. No time for funny thoughts! I have two souls to marry! I am the burning love goddess! A devilish angel on a heavenly hot, hellishly good mission!

Did Cupid actually find someone for himself? Or does he continue to shoot his arrows in eternal solitude while everyone around him becomes happy?


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