|43|: Agony/اذیت

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رب کسی کو کسی پر فدا نے کرے
کرے تو قیامت تک جُدا نہ کرے
یہ مانا کے کوئی مرتا نہیں جدائی میں
لیکِن جی بھی نہیں پاتا تنہائی میں۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

رب کسی کو کسی پر فدا نے کرےکرے تو قیامت تک جُدا نہ کرےیہ مانا کے کوئی مرتا نہیں جدائی میںلیکِن جی بھی نہیں پاتا تنہائی میں۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

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Hours ticked by endlessly. The ticking of the clock worked as a bomb. Telling about it's time left until the mass destruction that follows. Subhan's been pacing back and forth continuously, the phone glued to his ear as he spoke rapidly into the device. Sweats beads formed on his forehead even in the chilly winter. Completing his conversation with the police commissioner on the other hand, he pocketed his phone before sitting down on the steps of the door. Holding his head in his hand, he sighed deeply. Everything is prepared. The rescue team, the police. Even the documents of the land. All that's left is execution. His phone vibrated in his pockets and he took it out to see his father's name flashing. Frowning, he pressed the button and placed the phone on his ear.

"Salam." He muttered as cheerfully as he could muster himself to. He hasn't told his family yet. He can't have them worrying anymore. Plus, everything's ready. Everything will turn out good, In Sha Allah.

"How are you? Enjoying the winter?" His father asked. His tone calm and soft as always. For a moment, he appreciated him calling. It felt nice to talk to his father.

"We're good. Safa's been enjoying a lot. Plus the deal went good."

He replied while trying to sound excited, but every fiber in his body was excited for a different reason. It wasn't excitement to be exact. It was anxiety. Nerves and that tingling knot in his stomach.

"We know, beta. About what happened."

His father's voice came after a long pause. Subhan's entire body gone stiff. He hadn't tell anybody except Safa's family and Altamash. How can his father possibly known? Who told him?

"Altamash told me. Don't blame him. I pressured him. Do you think you'll be able to keep this from us? From me?"

Subhan let out a tired sigh. His shoulders sagged and he become completely vulnerable.

"I can't have you all troubled. I'll take care of it."

He muttered. His voice laced with guilt and remorse. The only thing he's been trying not to do is worry his family. The death of his brother took a toll on everyone. They haven't fully accepted his departure yet. He can't load them with his mess too. Whatever happened, happened because he was too clueless to pay attention to his surroundings. It is all his fault.

"I'm coming to you. I'm sorry. As your father, I haven't been really attentive towards you since...you know. I'm sorry, beta."

Subhan shook his head as if to tell his father that nothing is his fault. It was all him. His negligence. His own mistake.

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