White Christmas (Destiel)

VIII: All I Want for Christmas Is You

"Cas?" Dean called, peaking his head into every room. "Cas, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. Please, let's talk." No response. He sighed. Dean then headed to the room that Cas has been staying in. The door was slightly cracked and the angel was sitting on the bed with his hat off. "Cas.." Dean pushed the door open and walked in. "Cas, please. I'm so sorry."

"That's not fair, Dean!" Cas yelled. "You can't just do that! I was fine with us kissing at the party because we had to, but you haven't said anything about how you felt! You've known about me having feelings for you, and you just took advantage of that! I don't just kiss random people in the snow because I'm gay, Dean. I don't want to be just someone you do this with! I want and deserve to have something nice. But you- you just like to fuck things up for me, don't you?" 

Dean felt his heart break. "Okay, you're right. And I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But, I really do have feelings for you, Cas. I really do. I'm just bad at expressing it. I'm so sorry that I kissed you out there. Especially after not talking to you about how I feel. I know it seemed like all of a sudden I find out that you're gay and then I'm trying to kiss you, but that's not true."

Dean sat next to Cas on the bed. "Finding out that you've had feelings for me was such a relief. It felt so good to know that I wasn't in this alone. But I made you feel like you were all alone and that wasn't my intention. I just really, really, like you. I'm pretty sure it's more than just liking you. I'm still trying to figure that out as well." Cas sighed and threw his hat on the ground. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," he whispered. "It's okay," Dean replied. "I deserved it. Do you wanna go back and finish our snowman?" Cas smiled. "Yes, I'd like that. I promise I won't run off if I get hit with a snowball again." Dean laughed and stood up. He reached his hand out, and Cas took it.

~~~~

When the two of them returned, they went back to finishing their snowman. "Alright," Sam yelled. "Who wants to have this snowball in their face?" Charlie slowly walked up behind him and chucked a snowball at his back. He turned around. "Ha!" Dean yelled, pointing at his brother. Dean felt a snowball hit the back of his head. He touched the cold snow and turned around. Cas stood there with another snowball in his other hand. "You little shit," Dean said. Cas giggled as he threw the other one into his face. "That's payback," he said. "Now we're even." Dean threw his hands in the air. "I didn't even throw any at you!" Left and right did snowballs hit Dean. "Oh, it's on," he said, picking up snow. He tossed the snowball at Sam. "Loser!" 

Both Charlie and Dean threw a snowball at Stevie, hitting her in the face. She then fell on her butt. "Why did y'all hit me?" she asked, wiping snow out of her face and fake pouting. Charlie laughed and ran over. "Sorry, babe." Cas had turned around to grab some snow, and Dean thought this was the perfect opportunity. He took a snowball, and chucked at the angel's butt that was sticking up. When the ball hit him, him collapsed. Dean laughed. "I didn't think you'd fall!" As he laughed, Cas picked himself back up. He picked up some snow and hid it behind his back and walked over to the laughing man. 

"What?" Dean asked, gaining composure. "This," Cas answered. He took the snow and smeared it on Dean's face. "How do you like me now?" Dean spit snow out his mouth. Cas helped him get the snow out of his eyes. There was that feeling again. Eye contact and all. Dean raised his chin once more. "Now can I kiss you?" The angel smiled and nodded. "Whoo!" Charlie said, clapping once again. "C'mon, I think we can do this now!" Everyone else cheered as the snow started to fall on them. It was like they were in a movie. Dean could feel Cas smile against his lips. When they pulled apart, Cas looked into Dean's eyes. "That's what it's supposed to feel like." 

~~~~

From that point on, Dean and Castiel felt good about each other. It was great to watch them grow. Everyday they grew closer and closer to becoming the best they could be. It wasn't just their relationship that grew. After finding out where they stood, life got easier. Instead of putting themselves last and hoping that as the end came it was painless, they realized that all they had was each other and that's all they needed. 

On New Year's Day, Dean and Castiel held hands as they watched the new year take the old year's place. When the countdown had reached one, they shared a kiss that you could tell they've waited too long to share. 

In January, Sam and Eileen had announced that they were getting married. During the ceremony and the flowers had been thrown, Dean was happy to be the one that caught them.

About a year down the line, Dean had taken Cas to see the wonderful bits of Italy, where he found himself struck by love when proposing to the angel. 

Castiel eventually took his grace out, afraid of Dean dying without him.

So, when the sun had drawn Dean's name in the sand, it was sad and painful. Castiel fell into depression, he missed the only nice thing he had. 

Three long years had passed and it was finally Cas' turn. He didn't care about it being painless, he just wanted to see his husband's beautiful soul. 

Even in death did they continue to love each other. Up in Heaven, they watched the greatest times of their lives. Everyday, they would watch them, side by side.

And they would always start with their first White Christmas.

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