Fate Interrupted

9.1 Hot and Bothered

Gio

My stomach swirls and sucks down like liquid exiting a drain. 

Ren doesn't know yet. Shit. 

It doesn't always bother me to tell people. But Ren knew my mom so well, and she had treated her like a daughter. I haven't had to tell someone who knew my mom like that since it happened, and it's bringing it all right back.  

I was such a wreck at first; I didn't think I'd ever get over it. But now, having her out of my life feels... normal. Mostly. Sometimes, it still doesn't seem real. Like I could just get in the car and drive back to our house in Bayfield and go through the back gate into our old kitchen, and she'd still be there, making Sunday dinner. But I know that's not really true. The house is sold. My mom's gone.

Finally, the words, "She—she died," softly exit my mouth.

Ren's hand flies over her mouth as she inhales sharply, "Oh, Gio! I'm, I'm so sorry. I didn't—" I can hear the raw emotion in her voice. She reaches over and puts my hand over my hand, communicating heartfelt sadness. My throat tightens and burns more. 

"When?"

"Uhh, about four years ago. But she'd been sick, um, pretty sick for a while before that." The corners of my eyes start to tingle—I can't fucking handle it. 

God Damn it! I'm NOT gonna fucking cry!!

Glancing up and away, I luckily see our waiter coming. Thank fucking god. I swallow down the emotion.  "Oh, here's our food!" pulling my hand back and forcing a smile. "Wait till you try this."

Ren forces a weak smile, too, and we watch the waiter set the steaming plates and baskets before us. Jesus. Pull yourself together.

"Can I get you anything else, another glass of wine?"

Ren's eyes open wide. "Yes, please."

He turns to me. "Another for you?"

"No, thank you. I'll just stick to water now."

I never drink anymore. The one glass of wine is already going to my head.

We dig in, and everything is absolutely perfect. It's one of those dinners where you just have to take a moment after the first bite because the flavors and textures are just so unbelievable. A soft smile returns to my lips as Ren stuffs her face with another bun, making soft little moaning sounds as she slowly chews it. My dick is definitely appreciating the sounds coming out of her, and I focus on that to erase the last remnants of grief.

"Good, huh?"

She puts her hand in front of her mouth to politely block her mouth. "So good!"

I knew she'd love it here. The waiter brings Ren her second glass of wine, and she immediately downs half the glass. She sets her glass down, appearing calmer, too, and then smiles at me.

"Remember the dinner you took me to at Bertolucci's? And we got served wine way under age?" She giggles.

My brow furrows. "Yeah, 'course," I say, a soft smile playing at the edges of my mouth. Pft. Like I could forget our first Valentine's date. "Eri la mia amante." 

When you were my lover—I wonder if she will ask me to translate that or if she'll figure it out herself...

Her pupils dilate, and she's looking at me just the way she used to look at me when I was seventeen. The crease at my forehead deepens, unable to properly register this feeling she's stirring up inside me with that look.