Alexandra Rose

Chapter 36

"That was beautiful." Mom said.

"Thank you," I replied, a little nervous with all the compliments I was receiving.

Sure, I was rusty as hell since I haven't played the piano in so long, but I felt as if I had never left the world of music and for that, I felt happy knowing I was back.

I was back into Lola's world.

❦ ❦ ❦

It was after dinner and I laid on my bed, my body sprawled out like a starfish as I stared at the ceiling, my birthday ends in a few hours and I was beyond thankful for how memorable my family made my birthday.

But I will never forget the birthdays I would spend with Lola, blowing out a single candle on a cupcake.

Before the day is over, there's one more thing I have to do. I had to carry out the tradition Lola and I had, even if she's not here.

I pushed myself to get out of bed and dressed myself in a long sleeve t-shirt and shorts— it was the first thing I found hanging on my desk chair. It was also extremely cold outside but I didn't care as I rushed down the stairs, almost tripping in the process but I clutched onto the handrails while recomposing myself.

I wore my boots and left the house without a single sound, not wasting another second in the house.

I had to get away. I don't know why but I was beginning to get overwhwelmed with everything that happened today.

Everything I received were just too much— I'm grateful but I grew up being told that I didn't deserve anything good in life.

I have so much bottled up inside me and it's been waiting to explode.

I didn't have time to process everything that's happened in the past few months that the memories of my birthday in the past made me realised how much of a deep wound everything has imprinted in me.

With a heavy feeling in my heart, I walked inside a store and bought a small chocolate cupcake with candles and walked wherever my feet would take me.

It was dark and freezing cold out, my body was literally shivering but I didn't care because carrying out Lola's tradition mattered more to me right now than anything else.

The sound of my footsteps were the only thing heard as I walked while looking up at the night sky, spotting a few stars but I instead focused on the moon that shone so bright.

It appeared bright, soft and luminous in the dark sky— it was the most eye catching thing.

At last, I didn't know how long I had walked for until I came across a bench in a park where I sat with my legs close to my chest, holding the small cupcake as I lit the '17' candle and stared at it.

Lola was the only person there for me when I was going through the hardest thing in my life— she was the only one I trusted and the only person I had.

Despite not being blood related, she treated me as if I was her own and taught me what it felt like to be loved.

She was there to hold me when I cried and was there to love me when I felt worthless.

One thing she said that always stuck to me was,

"One day, you'll find someone who'll love you more than I do, whether it be romantically, or from your family. You deserve so much love,"