my yellow

21 (postcards4jackie)

i love you, jackie

i love you, i'll love you always. better than you will and even better than you ever could. you have an affinity for reading long letters, i've always loved writing them -- especially when it's you i'm writing about. once again we're in december, for 6 long years in a row i have loved you so much this very day. though it seems so now, i never found it tiring to think of you. i love it when you run through my mind, in your yellow sundress and barefooted; i'm far from you but the thought of you feels like home, i doubt that's gonna change. it's always been like that. i know i've told you a billion times before that i can't wait to see you - but i really can't wait to see you.

sometimes when i walk by a patch of flowers, i take my time looking at them; everything reminds me of you. there was never an escape from you, even if i was looking for one i'd never find it. you're everywhere; whether it's at the sky, in the supermarket, or in the songs i hear on the radio. you're always there despite the distance, you're omnipresent. i can't quite stop hearing and seeing you all over the place. i always tread on places you have never been, almost all the time it feels like you've been there already. it's like you left traces of you everywhere and i keep on finding them, smiling each step of the way knowing you're always around.

i admire your patience on things, especially towards me. nobody knows and loves me like you do. that, too, will never change. i have chosen you to rule my world, i dedicate each day to you. each and every love song, each and every letter, each and every win, and each and every broken pieces of my heart. i am incomplete and you have loved me the way i am. how can i replace you, when i know damn well for a fact that nobody else will love and know me like you do? you gave me the kind of love that i find better than anyone else's, for that i'm eternally grateful and indebted. i have now loved you in many ways, often times mysterious and unfathomable. but even so i only and almost aim for the best.

in the next couple of years or so we'll find ourselves in places we only dreamed of. my plans sound like nothing but mere delusions of a madman, but with you by my side everything is possible. i'd move a mountain if i have to, yes i can do all things through you who strengthens me. i love you so much, i apologize for the times i've been so hard to understand. and thank you for sticking by my side, loving me and reassuring me that you will always love me and that i will always love you.

there's way too many ands in this letter, and you'll love it still. and i'll love you still, and i always will. and even if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other. and yes i took that from a song; it's one of my favorite songs, and you're my favorite person always. i love you so much, and always remember that i always will. and that's all there is to it for now, i always have so so much in store for you. i love you to death, my love. and i miss you.

and please do not forget that.

and i'm actually very serious, i love you to death.